No Turning Back
by Paris-Syndrome
Summary: When you make such a huge decision about your life theres no turning back, especially when its of this magnitude.
1. The Fight

**A/N: So I'm really worried about putting this story out here. I wrote it a while back when I didn't know who would turn up pregnant even though I already knew. This is just a story about some major things happening between Elliot and Olivia and Kathy! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of them! If I did I would constantly be in the interregation room with Elliot! mmm:)**

Olivia looked at the water as it filled her bathtub. She let out a breath and turned the cold water off. As she watched the steam rising from the hot water running out of the faucet she let her mind drift back to a couple of nights before.

_"Oh God Elliot." Elliots tounge traveled down Olivia's neck teasing her. Elliot was all over her within seconds. He was all around her. Holding her. Touching her. Kissing her_. _She couldn't take it anymore. "El please." He nodded slightly as his hand began the journey down to the button of her jeans. _

_Stop Olivia. _She silently cursed herself. Olivia reached over and turned the water off. She stood up and tested the water. As if she knew it wasn't going to be hot. "Perfect." She muttered as she put one foot in and then the other finally sitting down. Goose bumps broke out all over her skin as she adjusted to the water. Both of her phones were off. Her door was bolted. No one could bother her. Not even the one man she cared for the most. Elliot.

Olivia picked up the soap and started scrubbing furiously as if the scolding water plus her assault on her skin could wash away Elliot. She scrubbed with no prevail. His scent was stuck on her skin. He was in her pores and she could never get away from it. She hated but loved it at the same time. The memory of the smell of him made her feel content. Safe.

She had came home that day and stripped her bed. Washed the sheets, confronter, and pillow cases five times. She could smell him on her mattress, on her couch, and all around her. She just wanted to get away from it.

Olivia climbed out of the bath looking down at her red skin. _Oh well. _Just as she was letting the water out of her bath she heard the familiar pounding on her door. _Dammit._ She knew that if she ignored it the pounding would only become more persistent and louder. She really didn't need Mr. Darvis from the apartment next door yelling at her anymore. The little prick did it enough.

Olivia retrieved her robe from the top of her now bare bed and went to the door. Reluctantly she unlocked the dead bolt and the door. As she opened it she looked at the man that can tear her world apart but at the same time be the only person who can hold it together. He looked horrible. His eyes we're blood shot and looked like he hadn't shaved in a while. He basically looked pitiful.

She exhaled loudly. "What do you want Elliot?" He walked past her without invitation and sat on the couch that they had made love on just a few days prior. Before everything went to hell in a handbag.

"I want to talk about what happened." Olivia closed the door and leaned up against it. He had his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands.

"Elliot it happened. I understand. Can we just not talk about it?" A few seconds passed but felt like hours. He finally raised his head to look at her. That damn intense gaze he always used on her.

"Olivia you know we can't just forget it. I care about you. I always have. Kathy has nothing to do with this..this..thing we did." Olivia felt her anger rising that was it. She pushed herself off the door.

"Thing. Thing Elliot. Did you tell her what we did? Did you? Did you tell her we fucked? Or what was I just a sympathy banging? Is that it? You just needed to what, work out some nervous energy?" She yelled. Fuck Mr.Darvis she didn't give a damn what he heard.

"Olivia please," Elliot rose from the couch. "You know you are so much more that that. I asked her to take me back because I thought it was best for the family."

"Elliot get out. I can't stand to even look at you right now." The tears we're threatening to spill over now. She wasn't going to let that happen but they came on there own. Elliot started walking towards her. "Elliot do not touch me." She watched his shoulders fall and she felt horrible. She knew this was for the best. She knew that if she let him embrace her she would fall apart and she didn't want that. Not right now.

"Please leave." Elliot nodded and walked out the door. Olivia fell back against the door and her body shook as she wondered when their relationship became so difficult. Sure they had there up's and downs and times when they would go weeks without being civil but now was different. She cried for what felt like forever when she got up and walked to her bed. She laid down on the mattress smelling Elliot. Maybe having him all around her wasn't such a bad thing right now. Things we're definitely different. Now there was no turning back.

**A/N again: Ok so there it is. I won't update it until Saturday because I have finals. Next chapters will probablly be the same length or a lil shorter! I NEED A BETA! If any of you nice ppl will volunteer lol! Please please please R&R! **


	2. The Truth

A/N: Ok so here's chapter 2 lol! I'm glad everyone stayed with me! I'm really happy you all liked chapter one. Thankyou to my wonderful beta Tanya who got me my chapter back during a crisis! I hope ya'll enjoy

Disclaimer: Maybe if I think hard enough they'll be mine. Dammit..still not here. Maybe Dick will let me play with them...or atleast Elliot:)

_Elliot pulled Olivia's shirt up over her head and proceeded to kiss every inch of skin exposed. Olivia let out a long low moan and Elliot was turned on more than he ever thought he could be. Elliot lowered his head kissing along the valley between her breasts. _

Elliot shook his head trying to focus on the matter at hand. Kathy. Kathy was at his door. What did she want? Oh to come in. Right Elliot moved aside to let Kathy into his little two bedroom apartment.

"Do you want something to drink?"

"No Elliot I need to talk to you about something." Kathy looked like she was on the verge of tears. She sat in the overstuffed chair Olivia bought him the day he moved into the apartment. The thing was fucking ugly but Olivia had loved it so much and the chair smelt like her. True it didn't go with anything he owned but she did like it. Now Kathy was in Olivia's place. No not her place. It's just her chair nothing more.

"Elliot I'm pregnant." That's what she had told him the night after he slept with Olivia for the first and last time in their three week relationship. The next day was when he had told Olivia that they couldn't be together and he was considering going back to Kathy and his family. That's when Olivia left. She left his apartment so fast Elliot didn't even have time to react. He tried to tell her why last night but Olivia freaked out on him. She had a right to. He did refer to their lovemaking as a "thing". Jesus he screwed up. 

Elliot focused back on Kathy. "Sorry. What did you say?"

"I said I'm not going to raise this baby alone."

"I never expected you to."

"I know which is why I need you to come back home_. I_ need you."

Elliot nodded while Kathy got up and opened the door.

"I hope that means yes El." Kathy said as she walked out the door.

5 Days Later 

Elliot looked at the empty desk across from him. Olivia had been out for four days on sick leave. He decided that he would tell Olivia why he had to end their relationship. He'd make her listen if he had to. He loved her to much her hurt but it was going to happen anyway and for that he hated himself.

He reached for the phone, the plastic feeling like ice in his clammy hand. Why was he so nervous? Oh yeah, because he was about to break the heart of the person he loved most next to his children. Elliot dialed Olivia's phone number and her three rings and then her voicemail. Elliot hung up. Looks like I'm coming over Elliot thought.

Olivia sat on the edge of the tub. Pink was now her most hated color. Why the fuck did it have to be pink? She would have been more than happy to see blue on this pregnancy test. What is she going to do with a baby? She lived in a studio apartment for god sakes. That's when she heard it. The banging on the door. Fuck. Could the day get any worse? It was about to. Olivia got up and walked out of the bathroom closing the door behind her. She opened the front door with her insides shaking. How was she going to tell Elliot? Olivia turned and walked toward the couch knowing Elliot would follow.

"Olivia I had to end this because Kathy's pregnant." Elliot blurted out. Oh shit. Did he just say that? Olivia looked at Elliot. Her face frozen somewhere between fear, surprise and anger.

"Get out Elliot. I need to be alone."

"Oliv-"

"Get out dammit!! I don't need anyone. And I sure as hell don't need you." Olivia yelled through her tears.

Elliot turned to the door. "I will always love you Liv." No turning back now he thought as he softly closed the door.

A/N: I dont know when the next chapter will be up...this week I know I just have to figure a few thing out!


	3. Hit and Run

Okey Dokey. Chapter 3. Chapter 4 will be long. I hope. If it goes the way I want it! Issabelle is suppose to have 2 S's becuase in Italian it's suppose to be like Issabele Tthe last E sounding like a A. My boyfriend helped me with that one. Ummm...yes its a sad chapter. The next one is worse. I cried while writing it. Becasue im a big sofftie! Thankyou to my wonderful Beta's!

Disclaimer: Not mine. Or I would be with Elliot! NOT KATHY! And Not Liv! ME ME ME! Lol! Issabelle, Serena, and Alexandra belong to me...so will the other Elliot in next chapters! Spoiler LOL

3 YEARS LATER

_Elliot led Olivia down to the couch. It was the closest surface, besides the coffee table. Maybe later. He kissed his way down to her stomach, his hand inching down ahead of him. Elliot slid his hand into Olivia's pants. "Oh my God." Olivia moaned above him._

Don was walking away from the fruit vendor a block away from his apartment with a pound of bananas, enjoying the late summer day. He thought he would miss being in charge of the SVU squad. He did miss it, but retirement was good. Of course he left Elliot in charge. He had asked John, but John flat out turned him down saying that he would retire in two or three years and he didn't want captain. Elliot was the next choice. He had been so heartbroken when Olivia left Don didn't have the heart to tell him he knew where she was and had been visiting her in Italy for the past three years. When he asked Olivia why she moved so far away she told him it still wasn't far enough to get away from the love she felt for Elliot. She did have his children. Anyone who has ever met Elliot and Olivia would know right away that they we're their children. All three of them. Triplets. All girls at that. Curly black hair that cascaded to the middle of their backs, dark olive skin, and piercing blue eyes. They were the most beautiful little girls Don had ever laid eyes on. He reached over and pressed the button next to the cross walk waiting for his signal to walk to the other side. When the white light came on he started his stroll across the white lines painted on the asphalt. Two feet away from the other side Don looked to his right and saw a black Ford Taurus speeding toward him. Before he had time to move the car collided with his body sending him twelve feet aways. Everyone gathered around while the Ford sped off. Then everything went black.

"Come on Serena, if you put your shoes on we'll get to go to the park faster." Olivia begged with her daughter.

"No! I don't wanna wear those. I wanna wear the princess shoes!" Serena argued back.

"No honey, you can't you'll get them dirty."

"Don't care."

"Well you better Missy becuase these are the one's your wearing or I'll leave you with Mrs. Scorcase next door." Olivia watched as her daughter pulled her lips in making a

fine line, and crossed her arms standing with her legs apart. _Oh God. You have never looked more like your dad._

"Fine. I wear these."

"Good. See how much easier it is when your not so stubborn?"

"I not stubborn."

"I'm," Olivia corrected her daughter. "Alexandra and Issabelle, come on we need to get going." Olivia smiled as her other two daughter's came running in screaming and laughing. All three of them we're beautiful. "Okay. Are we all ready?"

"Ready." Issabelle smiled. She was the calm and collected one. Never cranky and always did what she was told. Nothing like her dad.

"Me too!" Alexandra laughed. Alex was calm but could hold her own if you got her aggravated. Just like the woman she was named after.

"Me three." Serena said looking down at her shoes. She was stubborn and hard headed. Always wanted her way and would bend the rules to make it work. Exactly like Elliot. She had a to much of a temper for a three year old and was always impatient with her sisters.

"Alright then. Let me get my shoes on and we'll go." Olivia started to make her way back toward the room when the phone rang. She let out a long breath hearing three other one's coming from the foyer. She almost didn't answer it until she saw the area code. "Hello?"

"Olivia?"

"John Munch?!" Olivia said smiling. "How are you?"

"I've been better. Listen. Something's happen. Don was a victim of a hit and run driver. Apparently he has internal bleeding and they are doing everything they can but no

one know's how long he has. He told me to call you and for you to bring his granddaughters to New York. I don't know if its the morphine or what but he does want you here. Now." Olivia fell against the wall. Did she just hear him right? Don was in a accident?

"He's going to be okay, right?" _God please say yes, John. Please_.

"I'm afraid no one knows, Liv."

"Oh God. I'm on my way." Olivia felt the tears fall freely. She couldn't stop them. Her sobs racked her body.

"Olivia, he told me to tell you something in case you didn't make it in time. He said-"

"JOHN! I'm gonna be there. I'm leaving right now." Olivia hung up the phon, then walked toward the front door.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" Serena asked. "I sorry I don't wanna wear the shoes. I wear them now. Promise."

"No baby, it's not that. We can't go to the park today we have to go on a trip to see Grandpa Don."

"Where's he live?" Alex asked.

"New York. Now come on, we have to get packed." Olivia walked back toward the hallway feeling the hole in her heart start to grow even bigger. First Elliot, now Don.

NEW YORK

Elliot ran into the Emergency Room doors and quickly looked around for John, Fin, Casey, hell even Huang.

"John!"

"Elliot. Listen, we don't know anything but he's still in surgery."

"Did he say anything? I mean what's gonna happen?"

"Yeah, I talked to him he just wanted me to call Oli-."

"What? Did you just say Olivia? Three fucking years she's been gone! Is she coming?"

John nodded. "Said she'd be here as soon as she could."

"Where is she? Where has she been all this time?"

"You should ask her when she get's here tomorrow."

"Her flight will take a day? Where is she? Rome?"

John shrugged. "Come on. We'll go up to the ICU waiting room."

Elliot and John rode the elevator up to the fourth floor. When Elliot stepped out he noticed Fin, Lake, Casey, Huang, Alex, and a couple of people whom he guessed came up through the ranks with Don. Where could Olivia been all this time? God, what would he say to her? Elliot leaned back against the wall with his arms folded and legs spread. Why did she just leave like that? No turning back now. She was coming.


	4. Loss

A/N: Okey Dokey! and away we go! I cried while writing this because I'm emotional! lol! it's true! Please R&R if you would! Ohh and Alyene is pronounced Al-Lean!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the wonderful children! Dick Wolf STILL owns everyone else!

THE NEXT DAY

_Elliot slowly pulled down Olivia's pants. "Liv, I didn't know you liked it comando!" Elliot said laughing! _

_"Shut up El." He laughed agian until Olivia grasped him. "Not talking now are ya' big boy?" She laughed. He leaned down his mouth crashing into her's. His tongue tracing her bottom lip. He pushed her pants the rest of the way off her. _

Olivia awoke on the plane. _Oh joy. Another Elliot fucking me dream! _Olivia looked over at her three sleeping daughters all sharing one blanket. She smiled but soon remembered why they were on this plane. Heading back to New York. A place she swore she would never return. As the plane started to decend, Olivia got that sick feeling in the bottom of her stomach again. The one that she got when she left New York, the one she felt when Elliot called her cell phone one last time before she shut it off and changed her number, the one she felt when all three girls came down with the flu. The one she had when she knew something wasn't right. The seatbelt sign came on and the annoying flight attendant came over the intercom telling people to return to their seats. Olivia woke her children up, telling them it was almost time to get off of the plane.

"Mommy, where are we going when we get off?" Issabelle asked rubbing her eyes.

"Well, we're going to the hospital. Grandpa was in an accident," she informed them while folding up their Dora The Explorer blanket.

"Why? Did he get hurted?" Issabelle asked. Issabelle always wanted to know what was going on. She had to. It was just her natural way.

"Yes. He was in a accident. Now come on, let's get ready to get off of here, okay?" All three girls nodded.

Soon they were walking off of the plane at JFK. John had said that he would pick her up. Not them. Her. _I wonder what he's going to say when he see's all four of us. Doesn't take a surgeon to figure out these are Elliot's children. _After Olivia had gotten their bags off of the luggage claim and made sure all three of them were right in front of her, they headed toward the doors. Thats when she saw him. Of course he couldn't see the girls yet with all the people walking around. He waved to her and she smiled back. When they had cleared out of the hectic mess of people, she noticed shock register on Munch's face.

"Liv. I didn't know you had a whole pack while you were gone." He smiled and bent down. "Hi. I'm your Uncle Munch."

"Munch? Thats a funny name." Alexandra spoke up. "Mine's Alexanda Gace Sabler." Olivia rolled her eyes. She worked on them saying their names right for so long. Hell she worked on them saying everything.

"Well that's a beautiful name, Alexandra. Do we call you Alex?"

The little girl nodded. "Well mommy calls me Lexxie sometimes," She took a big breath pushing her bangs out of the way with the palm of her hand in a exagerated manner. "But nots all the time. Just sometimes."

"Well, nice to meet you. And what's your name, little one?"

"Ittabelle Don Tabler." John couldn't help but laugh.

"Well nice to meet you too Issabelle. We call you...Izzy?"

" Sì. Mommy calls me Iddy."

"Was she speaking Italian?" John asked looking up at Olivia. Olivia nodded slightly.

"That's about all they know." She mentioned.

"Well and what is you name?" He asked Serena.

"Seena Alyene Staler." Serena said standing up straight. "We _only_ call me Seena." She said looking serious. It was Olivia's turn to laugh.

"Well nice to meet you ladies. Liv, you wanna get going?" She nodded.

On the way to the hospital. John asked if Olivia wanted him to take the girls to the park for a while.

"John if you would do that for me I would be grateful. Please."

"Sure Liv." John looked over at her and smiled. A smile full of understanding.

As they drove down the road, Olivia turned around to face her children. "Looks like ya'll will get to go to the park after all! How's that sound?" Three little smiles and three little nods was all she needed. "Good. Uncle Munch is going to take you while Mommy takes care of some things." They were looking out the window, utterly fascinated with the buildings and the people constantly walking. _Don't get too used to it, girls, we'll be leaving soon. Away from the hustle and bustle and away from the man who broke my heart. _

Olivia watched as John's car drove away, leaving her at the hospital. She turned around, facing the automatic sliding doors of Lenox Hill Hospital. Olivia took a deep breath and walked through the doors and onto an elevator. She started to get that sick feeling again. As she pressed the number 4 button on the elevator she noticed someone telling her to hold the elevator. As she pressed the Doors Open button, Monique Jeffries stepped on.

"Well, long time no see, Liv. Where have you been?" Olivia looked down, then back up.

"Um..I've been in Bari."

"Where exactly is that?"

"Italy." Liv said right when the _ding _of the elevator sounded, signaling they were on the floor of the ICU. Olivia stepped out along with Monique and they both walked down the white sterile hall. Olivia hated hospitals. When she was shot three years ago and when the triplets were born were the last two times she had ever been in one. When they walked into the room where everyone was waiting Olivia felt her stomach turn and her eyes well up. There, right in front of her, was Elliot Stabler, looking at her. What she couldn't figure out was why he didn't look so shocked. _Damn Munch. Can't keep his big mouth shut for anything. I swear. _She did her best to ignore him, but she was struggling to breathe. She brushed past him and went to hug Casey, Alex and Fin. Then she turned toward the door with the numbers 4572 on them. She knew he was in there. Waiting. Holding on for her to get here. To see her one last time. _Oh God, I can't do this. _Just as she turned around there was Elliot standing in the doorway with his signature stance. There was no way in hell she was going over there to go out in the hallway. So she took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

That was not the Don Cragen she had known for eleven years. The Don Cragen she knew was strong and never showed weakness. He offered them Vodka on a hard day. Always had a serious look on his face but gave everyone more chances than they deserved. Now he was laying in a bed with two monitors hooked up to his body and tubes snaking out of what seemed like every part of his body. She heard the monotonous _de de de de_ of the monitor showing his heart was still beating strong. That was all that mattered to her. Olivia quickly walked over to his bed and gently grasped his hand in hers. "Please don't do this to me. I can't have you leave me. What am I going to do?" Olivia felt the tears falling again, and they were landing on Don's hand.

"Liv-" Olivia's head shot up. "If you look in my apartment-" He coughed twice. "There's a lease to an apartment I bought for you and the girls. For when you came back."

"Don. I can't stay here. You know that." Olivia let out a breath. She had been over this all the times Don had came to visit her. She told him countless times that she couldn't bring herself to come back to Manhattan. To many memories.

"Olivia, dammit. I want those girls to grow up here with their dad. That's an order Detective." Olivia smiled as she cried even harder. "I'm sorry..." he whispered, squeezing her hand weakly. She could hear his breathing becoming more labored, and it ignited a fire of anger and refusal to let go of the man she had come to think of as a father.

"Don." He didn't answer, and she became more panicked. "Don't you dare leave me here." Just as quick as the words came out of her mouth, the long beep of the monitor signaling his heart was no longer beating. "No! Dammit! Don wake up. Wake up now or I'll hate you forever! Please. Please wake up! Please. I can't make it without you. I NEED you. I'm not a detective." Olivia screamed. "I'm not a detective," She whispered one more time.

She was crying so hard now she couldn't make out any more words and the world was blurring. She felt someone grab her and hold her close as the nurses and doctors ran in. She heard them calling out vitals and asking for a crash cart. Then she heard the doctor say something else but couldn't make it out. Something about last time. Soon everything was quiet and Olivia collapsed into the strong arms holding her up. The person holding her picked her up and carried her out to the hall. She felt her body shaking against the other person. She felt their tears hitting her face, mixing with her own.

"Elliot. Let me go," she whispered, not looking up.

"Liv, I could never do that."

"Dammit Elliot, let me go! I told you once and I'll tell you again. I don't need you!" Olivia yelled as she pulled away from him and pressed her hands on his chest shoving him back against the wall so hard it knocked the breath out of him, then she took off down the stairs until she was outside, breathing in the warm air, and her hands were resting on her knees. She could hear Casey's voice coming down the stairs after her, yelling her name. Begging her to hang on. Wait for her to get there. She flagged down a cab and gave the driver the address for Don's apartment as fast as she could manage. Olivia turned around and saw Casey standing there looking helplessly on the sidewalk. _God you've lost it Olivia. What the hell are you doing?_ She leaned back against the seat and started crying again. Her body shaking almost violently. _What am I going to do? _

As the cab pulled up to the sidewalk, she handed the driver the money and walked up to the main door. No turning back now. Don was gone and soon she would be to.


	5. Memories

Chapter 5

A/N: You need to watch this video to set the mood for this chapter lol! guess just copy and paste it if the hyperlink doesn't work.. ohh and uhh I sat in the shower for 3 hours just to get this right! Iʼm sure the water bill will be a little bit higher this month. But that's ok. All for you people! lol! This chapter is basically just flashbacks that Liv has while in the shower. Well their quotes to us but flashbacks to her...lol there happy and sad...mostly sad. Maybe...lol! Hope ya'll enjoy. Ohh and this chapter is written in Olivia's POV. It will probably be the only one I do like this. After this chapter I won't be able to update until about the 27th or 28th if I'm lucky! It's all in italic's because this entire chapter is her thinking. Nothing is spoken until the end. No mini smut scene because this whole chapter is her thinking. So sorry lol.

Disclaimer: Yeah yeah. I'm not worthy...Gets down in Wayne's World Kneel I'm not worthy. lol

6:18 p.m.

Don Cragen's Apartment

_Walking through his door and looking around was like stepping into his life. Everything was exactly as he left it. Frozen in time. His coffee and paper we're still sitting on the coffee table with his badge on the desk. Why is that still out? To remind him what he gave up? Maybe if he was still the captain he would still be here. 6:19. Told Munch I would pick the girl's up at 8. Don't worry about it. Take as long as you need. We're all having fun. Is what he had said to me. _

_  
Walking down the short hallway that is lined with pictures of her and Elliot and the rest of the squad. A picture of a beautiful blonde woman and him. I can only guess that's his wife. Yes, I made it to the bathroom. Turning on the hot water full blast and the cold just enough to get the water a little cooler. Maybe the water can wash away the day. Think Olivia. Remember the good times, the bad times, and all the fights that made you closer. I think I'll sit down and think back. _

_Way back. I shot that man. He told me that his gun was loaded. It wasn't. I had no choice. Then Elliot came running in. _

_"I've got to go give my statement."_

_"I'll take you." He said like everything was fine. I couldn't be trapped in a car with him so I said what I had to. _

_"You leave me alone." And I walked off. _

_God. What about Randolph Morrow that was one of my shining moments. I loved telling him that. _

_"Honey, I'd like a mineral water on ice." Bastard was all I was thinking._

_"And I'd like your balls in a blender but ain't life a bitch?" I walked out and I heard Elliot through the speaker. _

_"Maybe you shouldn't have called her honey." I had to laugh. He was proud. I could tell. _

_Then there was the bastard Richard White. That guy got to me. I still hate myself for that. Elliot had drove to my apartment that morning to check on me. That was nice. Of course I had to say something. _

_"I sure as hell wouldn't drive all the way out to Queens to save your ass." _

_"Yeah you would." He said it so confidently. Like he knew I would always be there. I guess I showed him that I won't always be there. _

_"Okay but only because you have a wife and kids." Wife. Kids. That's why you left. That's why you're no longer there for him. Damn you Olivia. Why are you crying? Pull it together. I spoke a moment of truth at one point. _

_"We blame all kinds of people for creating monsters. Why not ourselves?" Why don't we blame ourselves? Is the truth to hard to bear? Do we not want to face the facts that from a early point you are shaping your children to be who they will be the rest of their lives. _

_Then there was that waitress we interviewed when the mother and daughter we're both sleeping with the same man. What we're their names? You're slipping Liv. You use to remember everything about a case. Even the case number. Not anymore. I do remember Munch saying something retarded._

_"Yes Santa, there is a Virginia." Or something like that. Oh the daughter, her name was Virginia. We spent hours looking for her. _

_"Women are always better of when left to their own mechanical devices." _

_Then she looked at me and said "I'm sure you know what I mean." Hell yes I did. Getting involved with one man ruined my entire world. Of course 9 months later I had three little girls who looked just liked him and it got easier as time went on. That is until now. _

_The Gitano case. That ruined our partnership for a period of time and almost ruined our friendship. Forever. That's a case I'll never forget. I can tell anyone everything we said during the course of that entire case and everything I wanted to say. _

_"Is there something you want to say to me? Because if you do then let's hear it." Of course I'm going to start a fight right in the middle of the squad room. Why not? _

_"Why didn't you shoot Gitano?" _

_"He was using the child as a shield." What the fuck did you want me to do?_

_"How could you let him get so close to you?" _

_"There were innocent civilians around. I couldn't get a shot." But you know I could have shot one of them. What's the big deal right? _

_"I can't do this anymore. I can't be looking over my shoulder, making sure you're okay." _

_"You son of a bitch, you know that's not true." _

_"I need to know you can do your job and not wait for me to come to your rescue." _

_Cragen came in then. Broke us up and lucky Elliot because I was close to yelling and screaming and getting right in his face to tell him that I looked after him far more than he did me. Trying to be careful of what I said so I wouldn't set off the Stabler time bomb. We had found Rebecca. After my partner wanted me to risk his life. _

_"If that sniper hadn't beaten you to it I know you would have taken that shot Olivia." Did you seriously just say that to me? _

_"No, I wouldn't have. Did you really expect me to? Did you really expect me to cause your death? What about your kids?" _

_"I don't know. I just couldn't get that boy out of my head." _

_"What about me?" I whispered. Praying he didn't hear it but hoping he did. _

_"Look, we both chose each other over the job. We can never let that happen again. Otherwise, we can't be partners." Excuse me? Did you really just say that? You should know that I would always pick you over this job. _

_"I can't believe you're saying that."_

_  
"Look, you and this job are about the only things that I've got anymore. I don't want to wreck that. I couldn't take it." Then he walked off, before I could say I love you and you'll never lose me. That would have been a lie to. That night I walked into Cragen's office with my inside's shaking and my knees weak. _

_  
"Olivia, what's up?" He sounded care free. Wish I could say the same about my voice._

_"I want a new partner." That look that he gave me will stay with me forever. It's the same look he gave me when I told him I was leaving. For good._

_Oregon. Worst time of my life. I was hit over the head by a fellow officer. I wanted to kick that fat old guy right in his balls right in the middle of his squad room. Those weeks I spent there was nothing compared to the cold treatment I got when I came back. _

_I had gotten a call from Cragen telling me that I needed to come back to work and stay with Elliot because his rage was out of control. Again. They told me where I could find him and for a minute I stood there in the doorway watching him. _

_"What color's his hair? Is it black?" Then the guy made some weird motion. "I don't know what that is. Is it red?" I couldn't watch anymore because he was getting aggravated so I stepped in. _

_"Is it the color of my hair?" Elliot's eyes we're something I still can't explain. They we're full of emotion. _

_"You here to give me a hand?" _

_"Well Cragen called, after last night I've been assigned to be your handler."_

_"The guy pulled a knife on me." _

_  
Later the guy grabbed my arm trying to show us that the perp had a broken arm. Right when he grabbed me and shook Elliot tried to step in. I told him it was okay and almost told him I didn't need his help. _

_"We're gettin somewhere" Is what I had said instead. _

_Later on sitting in the coffee shop you could have cut the tension with a knife. _

_"How'd you like working alone?" _

_"I didn't." He didn't pick up that I needed him._

_He couldn't let go of Dani. That entire case. _

_"I wonder what Dani would say." _

_"Dani?" _

_"The vic."_

_"Danielle."_

_"I swear I just said that. Something bothering you?" Yeah the fact that your still hanging on to her. She's GONE Elliot. She couldn't cut it. _

_"No." _

_Casey got pissed at us during that case. I remember that to. _

_"He took his time. That's sloppy and reckless work. Wh-What's the deal your rusty it's your first case back?" _

_"You're out of line Counselor." _

_  
At that time I flashed back to a time when Alex cracked. _

_"I don't work for you! You work for me." She had yelled at all of us. _

_"And what's your excuse?" Casey said. I had had enough. _

_"Are you done with the character assassination?" I asked. Pissed. _

_"That depends. Are you done flushing my case down the toilet?" _

_Walking through the hallway at the hospital. What was I suppose to say to him? Ok the first thing that came to my mind. _

_"Love's a bitch." What the hell? Why did I say that? _

_"Tell me about it." Hurry think of something. You got him talking. _

_"You know, we've been partners all these years and I don't even know your blood type." God. You suck at small talk Benson. ._

_"A positive." Ohh... _

_"How about that. Me too." Woo-hoo bravo Liv. _

_That's when he said something that I have tried to forget with no prevail._

_"I'd give you a kidney." Hurry. Think of something. And pray it's not retarded. _

_"Not if I gave you mine first." Score. That was amazing. How did I come up with that? Oh well look at the look I got from him. _

_I defended him. When IAB went after him for the death of Ryan. I defended him. I stood up for him. _

_"Elliot Stabler could never murder anyone, and if you can't prove that then I will." _

_Did he appreciate me for that? He did say thank you but was he talking to me or Warner or Casey? I do know that he went to his ex wife that night. _

_In the end Love 'em and Leave 'em Benson got Loved and Left herself. A good ol' fashion wam bam thankya' mam. _

_Oh God. What time is it? The water is freezing. Clock. Clock. Clock where are you? Where are the towels? 8:30 p.m. Holy fuck. I was just in the shower for almost three hours? Oh no, the girls. Where is my damn phone? The table? _

_Come on pick up pick up. _

"Hello?"

"Oh thank God. Munch I am so sorry I'm running late. I lost track of time."

"Liv, it's fine. We we're just about to go running in the street." John laughed.

"Shut up. I don't know how Fin has put up with you this long."

"That's because he loves me."

"Sure. I'll be there in about half a hour. Okay?"

"Sure thing. Bye Liv."

"Bye Munch. Oh and John. Thanks for everything."

"Don't mention it."

_No turning back. You can never turn back. But dammit Don. I don't know if I'll be able to go to your funeral. _


	6. Meetings

_Elliot's was holding himself up on his hands he was positioned at her opening. "Olivia are you sure?" _

_"Elliot. Don't ask me that anymore." Elliot nodded as he thrust into her. "Oh God." Olivia was completely filled. She felt the sensations from her head to her toes._

Olivia stood in front of her closet in her bra, pantyhose, and underwear starring at the black halter dress in front of her. She'd done her hair, her makeup, got the girls dressed and done their hair now all she had to do was put on the dress. And go to the funeral. _I can't go. _

"Stop it! That's my Dinderella book, Ally" Olivia heard Issabelle yelling. _Not now girls._

"Girls, what's going on?" Olivia asked as she walked into the living room.

"Mommyyyyy...Alexanda won't give me my Dinderella book."

"Issabelle Don don't whine. It does nothing for your character." Olivia looked around. "Where's your sister?" They both shrugged. "Serena?" Olivia yelled as she walked into the bedrooms.

"Right here mommy." Serena said sitting on her bed.

"Honey what are you doing in here?" Olivia asked sitting down on the bed.

"Tinkin' 'bout gampaw Don. I miss him real bad." She said looking up at Olivia. Her eyes were the color of the ocean and they were filling up with water. Olivia pulled Serena onto her lap as her own tears started to fall.

"I know honey. We all do." Serena started crying harder when she heard the knock on the door. _John?_ She picked up Serena and walked into the living room. She set her down and grabbed the towel hanging on the back of the couch and wrapped it around her. She looked through the peephole and saw none other than the infamous Elliot Stabler. _Ohh fuck. No no no no no no he can't see them right now. It's to early._

She turned around. "Girls, we're going to play a game. You three are going to go into my room and watch t.v. but you have to be super quiet. Okay?" _I'm a horrible mother. _Three little nod's and they all walked into the room. Once the door closed she opened the front door. Elliot looked at her from head to foot as if seeing her for the first time.  
"Elliot." She said with a nod. 

"Liv."

"What do you want?"

"Munch said you were having second thought's about going to the funeral."

_Fuck me. "_And he called you..why?"

"I guess you'll have to ask him."

"Your right." She said hastily.

"Dammit Olivia are we going to pick up right where we left off?"

"Right again."

"Mommy my haired falled down." Alex yelled running out of the bedroom. _Oh God. Please no._

Elliot's eye's shot to the little girl in a black spaghetti strapped dress with a red flower on the bottom, holding a black ponytail holder in her hair, her other hand holding the second braid in place. She was a dark headed little girl with olive skin and eyes that were sapphire, a trait he had learned from his other children that meant they were troubled.

"Olivia?"

"Elliot, I'll see you at the funeral."

"No, I will not let you push me away again."

"Daddy?" _Ohhh no. That's defiantly not good._

Elliot looked down at the little girl and nodded, he then looked back up at Liv. "Olivia what the-" He was cut off by Olivia's hand being raised and the look in her eye said _please don't do this in front of her. _Elliot looked back down to the little girl who had just recognized him. He simply nodded and walked out.

"Mommy that was daddy!" Alex's eyes were big and so clear Olivia thought that if she tried hard enough she could see right through them.

"Your right. It was. Now come on. Let's get your hair fixed then mommy will get dressed and we can leave.''

"Will we see him again?"

"You can bet on it." 

Elliot watched Olivia climb out of her car. She then walked around to the back and he saw the little girl who he had met earlier climb out, only her hair was now pulled into a tight bun on top of her head with a single little ringlet falling down on the side of her face. She tried to run off and Elliot heard Olivia call "Issabelle" back. Then another little girl crawled out in braids. _No that's her. Twins? _Following the other two another little girl crawled out. Her hair was down flying in the breeze. Wavy and curled at the ends. Just like their mom's. _Triplets. Identical. Wow._

Olivia met Elliot's eye's. She knew exactly what he was thinking. _Come on Liv, you can do this. Just get through the funeral. Then haul ass out of here. _

7:30 p.m.  
Olivia's Hotel Room

"Momma Momma Momma Momma Momma Momma Momma!" Olivia looked down at her daughter.

"Issabelle I'm going to change my name and I'm not telling you it." Issabelle's eyes got big and she pushed her bottom lip out.

"You woodn't tell me?" Olivia laughed as her heart melted.

"Oh alright, I'll tell you, but you can't use it all the time. Okay?"

"O'ka!" 

"Now. What do you need?" Olivia crouched down infront of her daughter.

"Tan we use your bage so we tan play detetive?"

"Sure." Olivia picked up Issabelle and walked to her room pulling her old detective's badge out of her purse. Why she carried it? No one knew. Not even Olivia. Maybe it was for a sense of familarity. Maybe it was for her own sense of mind as protection. She handed it over to Izzy. "Now-"

"I know, I know, be tarful." Izzy rolled her eyes.

"Issabelle Don did you just roll your eyes at me?"

"No Ma'am." She replied laughing as she took off running just escaping Olivia's hand as it was about to swat her. She then hear a knock on the door. Heavy and fast. _Who else could that be? Elliot Stabler. _Olivia walked over and opened the door. The wine was working, because she was not mad at all. She looked at Elliot's big build in the doorway. 

"I guess you want to come in?" Elliot nodded that's when Olivia noticed the smaller Elliot standing on the floor holding on to El's pants. The little boy had black hair cut close to his head in a military style and dark blue eyes, eyes that Olivia could get lost in for hours. She laughed. "I'm guessing your daddy cuts your hair?" She smiled sympathetically as the little boy nodded. 

"TOP IT" Olivia heard Alex yelling.

Olivia rubbed the middle of her forhead. "Girls. Come here. Now." She heard three pairs of feet running towards the door.

"It's daddy!" Issabelle yelled.

Elliot looked down at the little girls standing in front of him. He smiled. A real smile. One that Olivia hadn't seen in so long she forgot she missed it. She wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch his face. _Okay Olivia..ever heard of self control?_

"Girls this is- uh." She looked back up at Elliot realizing she didn't know the little boy's name.

Elliot finished for her. "Jeremiah Elliot." Olivia looked at him with a strange look.

"What's with you and the strange names?" Elliot just starred at her. "What?" Olivia shrugged. "Okay girls why don't you go and play with Jeremiah."

"No. I refuse to play with Izzy." Elliot laughed.

"Why Alex?" Olivia asked.

"Betause she alwayed has to be detetive ands I wants to be detetive!" Elliot dug into his pocket and pulled out his captain badge.

"Well here you go now one of you can be Detective Stabler." Alex gave him a wierd look.

"Or one of you can be Detective Benson." Olivia nodded trying to get her kids out of the room.

"Mommy tats your las name." Elliot met Olivia's eyes with so many questions. Olivia shook her head.

"Alright go play. No more arguing or mommy will come in there and arrest all four of you." She yelled after her girls and Jeremiah as they ran back down the hall. Olivia walked back into the kitchen and continued doing the dishes as her glass of wine sat next to the sink. She immediatly felt Elliot's presence as he walked into the kitchen. He was standing right behind her to. She placed the last plate in the cabinet and finished off her wine before turning around. She met Elliot's eyes again. "El-" She shook her head and walked into the living room sitting on the couch. Elliot soon followed sitting down on the opposite end.

"A League Of Their Own?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah. It's actually Casey's mine's still at home. It's the girls' favorite movie." Olivia looked back at the t.v. screen. Jimmy was yelling at Evelyn.

_Which team do you play for? _

_Well I-I'm a peach._

_Well I was just wondering becuase I couldn't figure out why you would throw home when we have a two run lead. You let the tying run get on second and we lost the lead because of you. Now start using your head. That's the lump that's three feet above your ass. _

She watched as Jimmy walked back into the dugout then looked back up realizing that Evelyn was crying.

_Are you crying? _

_No._

_Are you crying? Are you crying? There's no crying in baseball. _

Olivia automatically looked at Elliot. "Remember when you told me that?"

"Told you what?"

"There's no crying in baseball." Elliot nodded. "Everytime I watch this movie and that line comes up I think of you." Olivia whispered. Elliot nodded again rubbing his hand over Olivia's foot. Olivia quickly pulled her leg back. "Elliot. Your married." Elliot shook his head.

"No. No I'm not."

"Why? What happened?"

"Kathy had Jeremiah and when he was 2 months old she said that she couldn't do it anymore. She had spent her entire adult life raising children and she just couldn't do it anymore. Dickie and Elizabeth graduated high school and she left. One day I came home after picking him up from daycare and she was gone. She had packed up everything and left without saying anything or leaving a note. I thought that when she had said all that it was just her hormones talking and she would forget about it. I guess not." Olivia saw the pain etched on Elliots face.

"I'm so-" Elliot cut her off.

"No. Don't you dare say your sorry Olivia. I'm the one that should be saying that." Olivia nodded.

"I won't disagree with that." She said with a smile. Olivia looked back at the t.v. She almost missed her favorite line. Dottie and Kit were fighting and Dottie ran into the room after Kit.

_I'm so tired of being blammed for your mistakes. I got you into this league god dammit. _

Olivia smiled. Olivia liked Dottie. Ever since she was a little girl she had loved that line. This movie always made her laugh.

Olivia looked back over at Elliot who was watching the movie rather intently. Olivia stood up to get a glass of wine and came back sitting down right next to Elliot. She laced her hand through his. _What are you doing Olivia? Trying to get hurt again?_ She looked back at the t.v. right in time to see Jimmy walk in and smack Ms. Cutford on the ass.

_Ms. Cutford you stack of pancakes you. _ Olivia laughed. 

Elliot then realized that he had missed her laugh so much over the past three years. It had never dawned on him just how much he missed hearing the sound. It wasn't a troubled laugh. Or a polite one. It was a full hearted laugh. Elliot didn't realize just how intently he was starring at Olivia until she turned and looked at him. His lips we're inches from her's. He wanted nothing more than to reclaim her mouth. She leaned forward as he did and closed her eyes. Soon their lips we're touching and they both rediscovered each other's mouths. As soon as the kiss started it was broken by a shrill scream.

"Mommy!" Alex was screaming. Olivia bolted off the couch and ran towards her room with Elliot following right behind her. "Mommy hurry!" Olivia's heart dropped. She ran into her room finding Alex in a ball on the floor. She quickly picked her up looking for the other children. 

"Honey what's wrong?" She asked checking her daughter's small frame for any sign of injury.

"It's a pider! Mommy till it hurry! Till it!" She was still screaming. Elliot started laughing as Olivia let out a long sigh of relief. "Kill it daddy! Tomeone till it!" Elliot was laughing to hard to do anything so Olivia stepped on it. She then shot a look at Elliot.

"Now you get to clean it up." She raised a eyebrow and smiled walking out of the room with Alex in her hands. "Alright all taken care of now go play. It's almost bed time." She heard the three of them moan. "Yeah yeah I know." She walked back into the livingroom. Right in time to see Kit rounding third. Olivia quickly ran over to the couch and sat down.

Kit was running and the ball was thrown into home. Dottie was standing there ready for her to ram into her. As soon as she did they both flew down onto the ground. The camera went to Dottie's hand. The ball was still in it. Then. She let go. The umpire was yelling Safe Safe. And the crowd errupted. The announcer was yelling "Henson dropped the ball. Henson dropped that ball!" Olivia threw her hand in the air. "No matter how many times you watch it. She'll always drop the ball." She heard Elliot say from behind her.

"I know." Olivia said facing the screen. "Just something you let go of on purpose." Elliot nodded. She knew he had even without turning around.

"I guess we should get going." Elliot whispered.

Olivia nodded she didn't trust her voice. _You can turn around Olivia but you can't turn back time. There's No Turning Back when you've gone this far. _ The door silently closed Olivia stood up to go get her children ready for bed. _No Turning Back._


	7. Girl Talk and More Fights

_"Oh God, El." Elliot thrust into her harder quickening his pace. Olivia felt as if her body was about to explode. The slow build up in her abdomen was starting to intensify._

"Alexandra Grace what do you need?" Olivia groaned rolling over wanting to sink farther into the warmth of her bed.

"Telefono." Alex said shoving Liv's cell into her face. Olivia let out a fake cry before looking over at the clock. 8:01 a.m. She let out a moan.

"Alex no Spanish this early, please. Hello?"

"Hey Liv. Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me. Are you asleep?" Olivia pulled the blanket over her head shielding the light away.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I was asleep Casey." Olivia said using her free hand to swat away Alex's hand that had recently taken up space poking Olivia's hip. She felt the weight shift as Alex jumped off and ran into the living room.

"Well get you lazy ass up and meet me and Monique at The Fertelli's Deli at 10. That gives you enough time to do something with yourself and for Elliot to get over there and watch the girls.

Olivia threw the blankets off herself. "Wait. What? No. How'd you-"

"Don't worry. See ya' there. Bye!" A click and silence replaced Casey's overly eager voice. Olivia blinked hard three times then swung her legs over the side of the bed stretching her muscles. "Alex, Izzy, and Serena please come here." Serena ran in and jumped on the bottom of the bed rolling to the top. Alex, soon after, came running in jumping on the end of the bed, followed by Issabelle who came in crawling and sat on the floor in front of Olivia. "Izzy what- never mind." Olivia had learned over the years that a lot of times it was better just not to ask.

"Girls, El- Daddy is coming to watch you while Mommy goes out with Aunt Casey and another friend, Okay?" Three little cheers and Alex and Serena took off running as Isabella crawled towards the door." Olivia threw herself back on the bed. "Issabelle Don get up on your feet and walk."

"But Jermmiah said if I do that all my tosies will breat off!" She wiggled her toes for emphasis. Olivia let out another moan.

"Then how come mine and everyone else's toes in the free world hasn't fallen off?" Issabelle shrugged. "Get up. Now. Walk." Issabelle jumped up and took off laughing. Olivia looked over at the clock. The red number's we're taunting her. 8:50 a.m. "Girls, I'm getting a shower. Don't argue. Don't kill each other. Don't answer the door."

"We know." All three yelled.

"Yeah yeah your two year old brains know everything." Olivia said to herself as she climbed into the shower after making sure the bathroom door was open.

Olivia shut off the water and stepped out looking at her watch on the counter. 9:37. Olivia noticed the silence and a set of heavy feet walking around. _Girls. _Olivia grabbed a towel and her gun and quickly ran into the living room. The small towel acting like a shield. Her gun was aimed on the broad chest of Elliot Stabler.

"Olivia we really got to stop meeting with you only in a towel." He grinned as Olivia wrapped it around herself.

"Elliot Stabler shut the hell. What are you doing here and where the hell are my kids?"

"I don't know," Elliot shrugged. "I was just looking for _our _girls." Olivia's body went hot as terror shot through her.

"What do you mean you're looking for them?" She said as she frantically glanced around the room. The gun jabbing towards Elliot.

"Olivia you wanna put the gun down?"

"Not really." She muttered as she lowered it.

"We're playing Hide and Go Seek, Liv." She wasn't aware what had happened but her hand was tingling and Elliot's cheek had a red hue to it now. She just slapped Elliot Stabler.

"Oh Liv, you've gotten soft. You hit like a girl." Olivia's face tensed. "Liv I was joking." Elliot said holing his hands up.

"You want me to punch you Elliot? I will. Gladly." Elliot smiled as he shook his head. "Find my children, Elliot."

"I will. And my son." Elliot said to her.

"Oh, speaking of Jeremiah. He uh- told Issabelle that her toes would fall off if she didn't crawl around." Olivia stated as she rubbed a non-existent itch above her lip with the tip of her finger. Elliot let out a laugh.

"Elliot," She turned her head pointing a finger at him, finally looking back at his face. "Do you want me to hit you again?"

"No," Elliot smiled. "I'll talk to him." Olivia nodded and turned quickly to leave but slipped on the water that had been collecting on the floor. Elliot instinctively reached out and grabbed her arm. "I'm fine, Elliot." She said as she walked into the room closing the door behind her.

Olivia surfaced out of her room at 9:59, wearing jeans and a white 3/4 sleeve low cut form fitting shirt. Her hair was to the middle of her back and was wavy and free. Elliot tried not to stare like a horny teenager starring at a centerfold model but couldn't help it. Olivia noticed the way Elliot was looking at her. It was that same look he gave her that night at the club and she tried not to smile. "I'm late. Girls I'm leaving." A little stampede came running after her hooking onto her legs. An assortment of bye mommy's and I love you's were exchanged between the four. Olivia grabbed her purse and said one more goodbye before leaving.

Olivia walked into the Deli. It was a little quiet place with tables and booths spread half hazardly around the room. The entire eating area was windows. She looked around for her friends. Olivia spotted Casey waving eagerly as she walked over. "Down killer." She laughed as Casey pulled her into a hug. She sat down in the extra chair.

"Wow Liv. You look amazing. I hate you now." Monique laughed.

"Yeah sure. So what are you doing now Jeffries?"

"Homicide." She said with a shrug.

Olivia waved a hand. "Well I know what Casey is doing."

"I'm hurt." Casey stated clasping her hand over her heart.

"I'm sure you are. So shouldn't you two be saving the world? Cleaning up Manhattan one perv or freak at a time?"

"We have two more days off," Casey said holding up two fingers. "Because of Cragen and everything." Olivia nodded slowly and sucked in a breath.

"Anything new happen?" Monique asked.

"Well I almost shot Elliot this morning."

"Olivia Benson. What the hell. I told you he was coming over."

"Yes. But you didn't tell me that he would be there when I got out of the shower."

"So you almost shot him because he was in your hotel room."

"Well, yes. I didn't expect a 6 foot man to be walking around my living room and my children insanely quiet. I thought someone had broke in and killed my kids."

"Aww...poor Livvy!" Casey exaggerated.

"Yeah, call me that again Counselor I'll arrest you. So what am I doing here?" Casey and Monique looked at each other and started laughing. "Oh no what?"

"Well when we leave here the three of us are going shopping." Jeffries said.

"And?" Olivia led them.

"We're going shopping for obscenely and ridiculous clothes and going clubbing." Casey said clapping.

"Why are you so damn happy Counselor? You're starting to freak me out." Casey shrugged.

"And no I'm not going clubbing." Olivia told them.

"Oh but you are Benson!" Monique said pointing a finger at Olivia.

"Detective Jeffries, I have not been to a club since," Olivia stopped to think.

"The week before you left New York?" Casey said.

"No since I was about twenty four."

"Okay I know that's a lie." Monique pointed out.

"You and I went clubbing my second year on the job after the case where that French professor raped his dead college student."

Casey leaned in. "That's gross." She deadpanned.

"Yeah but Olivia about made me bust out laughing in the interrogation room." 

"Why?"

"Because the lawyer had said something and ended it with "Miss" and Olivia lost it. She turned to him and said it's Detective not Miss and you're in my house counselor. Save your lawyering for someone who gives a damn."

Casey spit her water out on the table. Olivia made a disgusted face. "That's gross Casey." She laughed.

"I'm sorry. It was funny."

"Oh. And you and I went clubbing the week before you left. Remember. We brought Elliot along and if I'm not mistaken that was the night you conceive

"Yeah, I remember that. He pissed me off."

d your children. Basically on the dance floor."

"Shut up. Please?" Olivia asked as she finished her sandwich.

"Alright. Off to the stores we go." Casey said smiling.

"Fine." Olivia gave in.

**1:22 a.m. **

**Olivia's hotel **

Olivia stumbled out of the elevator to her door trying to get her key card to slide in the right way. All she wanted was to crawl into her warm bed and pass out. Olivia walked into her room and to her surprise someone was already in her bed. She turned around then back to the bed. _I know I didn't bring that hot blonde home from the club. _Olivia let out a loud breath as realization hit her.

"Elliot Stabler get your ass out of my bed. Now." Elliot sat up slowly taking in the view of the woman in front of him. Olivia Benson was standing there in a white halter top that ended a inch or more above her black skirt that was defiantly to short for a mother of three to be wearing. On her feet were black heels that could only be described as fuck me heels. Her hair looked as if she had just got done having a night of wild sex and her body was flushed. _Okay Elliot don't make an ass out of yourself. Start thinking with the right head. Grandma Moses. World Peace. Having sex with Olivia for World Peace. No. Dogs. You two going at it like dogs. The park. You two doing it in the park. Kathy. Kathy. Kathy. Oh that did it. _He watched as Olivia stumble over to the dresser.

"Today would be nice." She said with her back to him. Elliot climbed out of the bed.

"Olivia are you drunk?"

Olivia rolled her eyes and turned around. "Elliot I'm not sixteen. Hell I'm not even twenty one. I am a- a grown ass woman." She slurred.

"Jesus Liv, how much have you had to drink?"

"I don't know. It's none of your damn business anyway. Now if you would leave."

"No. I'm not leaving you here like this with three two year olds in the house." Even in her drunken state she knew what he was thinking. Olivia shoved him back.

"How dare you compare me and my mother. I am _nothing _like her." Olivia's voice was low and threatening.

Elliot knew he couldn't get away with much more. Olivia looked up at him and Elliot was thrown off by how much anger was in her eyes.

"Liv look at you. You won't wake up until noon if you're lucky. Let me sleep on the couch tonight. Please."

"Fine Elliot. Do what ever the fuck you want. Leave me out of it. And _my _girls. You better be gone by the time I wake up."

"Well now how is that going to work?"

Olivia walked over and held onto the door knob. "Figure it out." He walked through the doorway as Olivia closed the door behind him. She climbed into the bed and cried. _What did I just do? _Olivia cried harder listening to Elliot in the living room. She just wanted Elliot to bust through the door and come in here and hold her until the morning. Tell her that she was not alone anymore and never would be again.

Elliot walked over to the couch and pulled the bed out. Laying down on the uncomfortable mattress with one lame pillow and a thin sheet. He could hear Liv crying through the door and his heart broke. He wanted to bust through the door and kiss her until she stopped crying and hold her and tell her he would never leave her. If he was lucky she would just slap him again and not knee him in his crotch for 1. Busting down her door and 2. For ravishing her. He thought about the night they went to the club with Casey. She was so happy that night. Elliot had not seen Olivia so happy in a long time and he wanted to see her that way more. He thought he would be able to. _Guess not_. Elliot knew he wouldn't sleep any tonight because he was worried about Liv and he knew she would get up before to long and get sick. Dammit he'd be there to. Whether she wanted him there or not. He would not let this woman push him away anymore. _No Turning Back Elliot_. _You're in it until the end. _


	8. Late Night Loving and Hangovers

**A/N: Smut Smut Smut...lol. Ok so this is un-beta'd (sorry Tanya...only one I swear) but I wanted to get it up hehe up and going and another chapter before I leave to St. Louis for a weekend of partying for my Bday! I take full responsibility for any signs of 'tardation! Kinsey here ya' go!**

**Disclaimer: Only people I make up in my "Creative" mind are mine!**

Olivia had left the door unlocked on purpose hoping that Elliot would waltz through the door. She knew it wouldn't happen but as soon as the thought crossed her mind there was Elliot opening the door, closing the door, and standing in front of her bed with only NYPD sweat pants on.

"Are those my pant's Elliot?" He looked down and back up at her with a confused look.

"Uh no actually there mine and I've been looking for them for three years." Olivia shrugged.

"Finders Keepers." Elliot walked over to her side of the bed and traced her jaw line with the tip of his finger. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"You can keep them if you want." Olivia opened her eyes and nodded as she brought his face down to hers and kissed him with more power. She was on a mission. The mission was to have sex again for the first time in almost 2 years. After that one night stand in Italy a couple years ago she focused on the triplets and put her needs aside.

She moaned as Elliot's tongue grazed her's and he pulled the cover's back. He reached down and pulled his NYPD sweater off of her. She was completely naked and Elliot kissed a trail down her neck kissing her collar bone until he reached her breast. Pulling one of her nipples into his mouth as his hand worked the other one. She bit her bottom lip trying to suppress her moan as he straddled her. She reached down and grasped him through his pants. She elicited a moan from him and smiled arrogantly. He rolled over and slid his pants off.

Rolling back over to face her he kissed his way down her torso, not leaving any flesh untouched. Olivia knew he had to get to her center before she burst. He kissed her hip bone pulling her legs apart, he kissed the inside of her thigh and above her sex. Knowing Olivia was getting aggravated he slid two fingers into her slowly as he sucked on the little bundle of nerves. It didn't take long before Olivia's orgasm ripped through her. She yelled out his name with a few curse words entwined.

He kissed his way back up slipping his tongue into her mouth. She bit his lower lip as she flipped them over, straddling Elliot. She reached down and guided him inside of her. She slowly moved up and down but Elliot couldn't take this slow pace any longer. He flipped them back over to their original position and slammed into Olivia as hard as he could in his present state of mind. She let out a cry as her upper body came off the bed and her nails dug into Elliot's shoulder's.

He moved back and forth at a fast pace, never slowing down until he felt Olivia's muscles tighten. One of Olivia's hands was grasping at his bicep as the other was gripping his short hair. "Fuck Elliot." was all she could get out before both of their orgasm's tore through them. Elliot rolled over and placed his hand around Olivia's waist. She was dozing off when her cell phone rang.

Olivia woke up and looked around seeing her hotel room. She sat up quickly and felt as though a cemi had hit her. She looked down feeling the throbbing in her center and noticed she still had the NYPD sweatshirt on that had Elliot Stabler stitched onto it. _Holy fuck it was a dream. _Olivia placed a hand on her head as her account of the night came back to her. She had went to the club and danced with a hot blonde guy like she was 20 again. Came home. Fought with Elliot. Woke up and threw up. Elliot was there. Helping her the entire time. She came back in here and Elliot dressed her in the sweat shirt but she passed out again before he could help her any further. She told him to stay as long as he wanted. Fuck, she told him to stay as long as he wanted?

She heard laughter coming from the next room as she slid out of bed and put on a pair of shorts. She opened the door and looked at Elliot playing with all four children. Her heart melted. Yes, she still loved him. He was the father of her children. But underneath that was something else. Lust. She still had feelings for the man.

"Our birthdays is in 5 days!!" Serena squealed. Jumping up and down.

"Really?" Elliot said playing along. "Are you going to be 12?"

"No silly! Tree!" Alex interrupted.

"Mommmmmmmy!!!!!" Issabelle screamed running towards her almost knocking Olivia down as she grabbed onto Olivia's legs. Olivia's pounding head was killing her but she put that aside. Elliot quickly stood.

"Elliot Stabler are you wearing my pants?"

"Actually there mine and I've been looking for them the past three years."

"Finders Keepers." She knew where this was going for her and there was No Turning Back.

**A/N: HAHAHAHA! LOL. Yes it was a dream and yes I left you right there. If I would have made her dream in Italics ya'll would have known it wasn't real so...yep. Sorry it was short but that was the perfect stopping place to taunt ya'll with! But you love me and I love all of you! Thankyou for your reviews!!!!!!! Hope you stick with it!**


	9. Army Wives Brings Out The Truth

A/N: Alright sorry it took so unbelievably long to get this up here but my bf decided to be a ass right b4 i went on my bday trip but i really really wanted to get it up before i left! Sorry! lol! I still love you! Theres a line in here that Ad Hominem Argument ( I hope I spelt that right lol) about Huang! Thankyou for that lol.

D: Of course I own NOTHING NOTHING and NOTHING...except for the ppl that come from my mind lol...

Olivia sat with her back against Elliot's side, his arm wrapped around her upper body while her legs extended out across the couch and his on the coffee table.

"So what is this show about?"

"Exactly what the title says, El. Army Wives."

"Smart ass." Elliot said smiling. "Why is he throwing all his kids shit out?"

"Because he hit his mom." Elliot nodded.

"I'd do he same thing." Olivia laid her head on Elliot's shoulder and looked up at him.

"Really?"

"Hell yes. Dickie or Jeremiah ever hit their mom or any other woman I'd beat their ass until they couldn't stand anymore." Olivia adopted a horrified look on her face.

"Please tell me your not serious."

"No. They will _never _lay a hand on any woman." Olivia nodded once.

"That's good. I guess. Not the beating part. I might have to collar you for that one."

"Your right Detective Benson."

"I'm not a detective."

"Why do you still have your gun?"

"When you leave the force in Italy they let you keep your service weapon. Not a whole lot of crime happens in Italy." Olivia noticed the look of relief that washed over Elliot's face. "You didn't think? Jesus Elliot."

"What was I suppose to thin, Liv?" Olivia leaned forward placing her feet on the floor and moving away from Elliot. Elliot tried to get back to neutral ground. "So why is this Amanda chick sneaking out?"

"Because she's in love with Jeremy and her parent's don't want him around her."

"I wouldn't want a guy like that around my daughters either. You know, I worry about Elizabeth and Issabelle." Olivia glanced over at Elliot. His features had gone dark.

"Why?" Of course she knew he would tell her without him asking.

"I've only known Izzy for a couple of days," He said looking over at Olivia. She had to forcefully keep herself from rolling her eyes. "But I've known Liz all her life. And in those eighteen years I have learned that she trusts everyone way to much until they give her a reason not to. She gives to many second chances to. I've noticed that Izzy is just like Liz was when she was her age. It just scares me is all. Maureen reads people so unbelievably well that I'm not as worried. Which is why she is now at Quantico studying Behavioral Science."?

"Going to be a younger, hotter version of Huang?" Olivia said trying to lighten the mood. Elliot smiled but kept on talking.

"Kathleen trust's no one until she really knows them. Same with Serena,'' Olivia nodded. "Alexandra is like Maureen. I'm not worried about Dickie or Jeremiah. I think I've raised them fine."

"Not worried about them being abused by their lover's?" Olivia laughed. Elliot nodded looking around.

"So when are you moving out of here?" Olivia automatically looked down picking at the hotel's couch as she heard the theme song to Will and Grace coming through the TV. the room was getting warmer and it was getting harder to breath. "God dammit Olivia. Your going back aren't you? Your packing up my family and taking them half way across the world. Again." Olivia stood up walking behind the couch. She felt Elliot behind her.

"What do you want Elliot? What? You want another Kathy? You want me to marry you and have a bunch of babies? Fuck Elliot tell me what you want? You expect me to be all domesticated? So what Elliot? What the hell do you want?" She yelled her anger rising as she shoved Elliot. Olivia turned to leave but Elliot abruptly grabbed her arm and spun her back around.

"I want you to love me again." Olivia tried to get out of his grasp but he held on tighter.

"I never fell-"

"Mommy? Daddy?" Olivia's head snapped to the small form standing in the doorway.

"Izzy honey whatʼs wrong?" Olivia asked stepping so close to Elliot only the two of them could hear their conversation. "Elliot Stabler you will _not _let my daughter see this. You get you hands off me and don't act like you were trying to hurt me." Olivia saw pain flash across Elliot's eye's as he ran his hand down her arm.

"Olivia I wasn't-" Olivia stopped him and walked over to her daughter.

"I had a mitenare."

"Alright let's go back to bed and-"

"No. I 'and daddy." Olivia turned to Elliot as her eyes burned. Her daughter didn't want her. She wanted Elliot. She closed her eyes as Elliot walked by her picking up Izzy and carrying her into the room. When she heard the door close she let her tears fall.

Elliot found her there on the floor in a ball crying twenty minutes later. He sat down next to her and felt his own tears threatening.

"Olivia you know I wasn't trying to hurt you. Please tell me you knew that." Elliot waited on a response but only heard sobs in return. He rubbed her back as she cried even harder. Olivia slammed her hands on the ground and turned to Elliot, her hair whipping around with her. Her eyes were black with red rimming the edges and her cheeks we're wet from the path her tears had made.

"Dammit Elliot. I never fell out of love with you. Don't you understand?" Olivia's tears started to fall again. She took a deep breath. "Do you know what it's like to want and love someone so much your entire body ache's from it? Do you know what it's like to stare at three carbon copies of someone you love so fucking much you hate yourself for it?"

"Do you know what it's like to love someone so much you can't stand it, but you have to come home to a woman you don't love at all but pretend you do? Then," Elliot paused. "Then having that woman leave you like you left the only woman you ever cared for so intensely it made you sick. All I was left with was a wonderful son and a hole in my heart. What do _you _want Olivia Benson? 'Cause whatever it is I'll do for you. You want me to leave? Fine. But I will not let you leave me again."

"I want you to hold me." Olivia said. "Just hold me." She repeated so quietly Elliot almost missed it. He didn't hesitate, he reached out and wrapped his arms around Olivia as she buried her face into his neck. This is not the Olivia Benson everyone knew three years ago. Olivia didn't even know this one.

Olivia awoke the next morning in her bed starring at a pair of ice blue eyes with dark eyebrows scrunched over them.

"Libia." Olivia suppressed a laugh.

"Yes honey?" Olivia asked starring at Jeremiah.

"Are you going to be my mommy?" Olivia laughed.

"Oh no I don't think so." Jeremiah got a sad look on his face. "Why?"

"Because I never got a mommy."

"Yeah you did. She's just," _A whore, a slut, a two timing dirty tramp. _"Gone."

"Jeremiah, I told you not to bother Olivia." Elliot said from the doorway. Jeremiah got up and walked out of the room. Elliot walked over and played down on the bed next to Olivia. "I have a question to ask you."

"No I will not make you breakfast and no I won't marry you."

"No and No. That's not what I was going to ask. I was thinking we should take the kids out to dinner. All of them."

"All eight, huh?" Olivia laughed as she stretched.

"Yes all eight of them." He laughed leaning over and pressing his lips into hers. Olivia ran her hand over Elliot's head and nipped at his bottom lip encouraging him to open his mouth. The logical side of her brain was telling her she needed to stop but once Elliot opened his mouth that side of her mind was silenced. Olivia plunged her tongue into his mouth. Three years of built up lust and wet dreams were put into that kiss. Elliot's hand ran down her arm to the hem of her shirt where he traced the sliver of skin that was exposed. Olivia moaned into Elliot's mouth. He moved down to her neck sucking so hard it was sure to brand her for a couple of days. "Stabler don't start anything you can't finish."

"Who says I can't finish?" Elliot said taking one of Olivia's clothed nipples into his mouth.

"Fuck. The four children sitting in the living room." Elliot's hand pushed down passed the waistband of her panties, sliding his fingers into her folds. Olivia let out a whimper.

"Jesus Liv." Olivia grasped Elliot's shirt pulling it over his head quickly.

"We have to stop." Olivia managed as Elliot's hand found his way back down circling her clit slowly. Olivia's body shook a little.

"Dora the Explorer's on. We have twenty two minutes left.

"Oh fuck. Hurry." Elliot pushed two fingers into Olivia. She lifted her head up and bit Elliot's shoulder.

"Shit Liv." Olivia felt her muscles clench around Elliot's finger's as she dug her nails into Elliot's forearm. Olivia let out a loud breath as the first wave of her climax hit. She bit the back of her hand to keep quiet. When she floated back down to earth she realized that Elliot was gone. _Shit. Not again. _Elliot walked out of the bathroom.

"Wanna finish what we started tonight?" Elliot said with a shit eating grin as he stared at Olivia. She looked like she couldn't put two words together if she tried laying there her legs spread and her body flushed and she was breathing hard.

Olivia smiled. "Hell yes I do."

Elliot walked out of the room to D-D-D-D-D-D-Dora D-D-D-D-D-D-Dora Dora Dora Dora the Explorer.

"Where's your shirt got to?" Serena asked. Olivia walked up behind Elliot wrapping her arms around his waist tracing his muscles.

"Mommy wanted it because she was cold." Olivia said.

"It's summatime!!" Alex said jumping up and down.

"I'll start calling the kids." Olivia nodded as she kissed Elliotʼs bare shoulder.

"Daddy whatʼs happened to your shoulder?" Elliot looked back at Olivia.

"Mommy was hungry." Elliot said laughing.

"Ewww...that's naty!" Issabelle said.

No Turning Back and Olivia wasn't sure if she wanted to.


	10. Calling All Stablers!

A/N: The "fight" with Liz and Dickie is actually a fight me and my brother had like ten minutes before I wrote this. LOL. Sorry its sooo short but I want the dinner and the um...desert to come hehehe in the next chapter! Thank you for all the reviews I love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And of course to my wonderful beta. YOU ARE FREAKING AMAZING!

"Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner that is what I truly wish to be. 'Cause if I were a Oscar Mayer wiener-"

"You would always have more dates that me!" Lizzie cut in laughing.

"Having guys here for a bang and then them leaving isn't exactly a date." Dickie shot back.

"If your wiener was half as big as a Oscar Mayer one you would get laid more." She said tying her hair up in a pony tail.

"Shut the hell up." The phone cut through their conversation and they both ran for it.

"Hello?" Elizabeth answered. Dickie ran to get the extension.

"Hey honey." Elliotʼs voice came through the phone.

"Hey dad." Dickie said from the other phone walking into the kitchen.

"Kids I wanted to know if you two could meet me at ZaZa tonight?"

"Well Elizabeth has a wam bam thank you' mam coming tonight so if she's back before he comes, in more ways than one, I'm sure we can make it."

"Excuse me?"

"Dad I so do not have that."

"The only reason why anyone but my twins should be in that apartment is to pee. And even then their bladder better be damn near ready to bust." Elizabeth kicked the chair that he was currently leaning back in out from under Dickie. 

"Shut the hell up douche bag." Dickie hit the floor mumbling a shit.

"I'm sure they do dad. After they're done."

"Alright, I'm through listening to this. Meet us there at seven. Love you both. Behave. Elizabeth don't let me catch any men in that apartment besides your brother. And goodbye." Elliot hung up the phone.

"Dickie I totally hate you." 

"Whatever."

"Raise your hand if your brother's a homo!" Elizabeth said raising her hand and running towards her room.

"Bitch."

"Blue balls." Lizzie closed her door as a plastic cup came hurling towards her.

"Oh fuck. Harder." Kathleen's head slammed into the wall. Her cell phone came alive next to them. "Damn. Hang on." Kathleen reached over for her phone. "Yes?" She answered breathless.

"Hey honey."

"Dad!" Kathleen whined as terror spread through her. She looked at James as he pulled out and pulled his jeans on looking around for his shirt.

"I was wondering if you could meet me and your brother's and sister's at ZaZa's tonight."

"James stop." She whispered. "Uh sure dad. What time?"

"Kathleen what are you doing?"

"Fuck dad. Homework. What time?"

"Seven. Kathleen Stabler-"

"Seven dad, got it. I'm 23 by the way. What do you think I'm doing. Got to go. See you then. Love you." And she hung up pushing James into the wall.

"Kath isn't your dad like a detective?"

"Captain."

"Shit stop." He said as her hands moved down to cup him.

"Why? What do you think he's going to do? Arrest you?"

"Well yeah."

"Don't worry," She pressed her body into his grinding slowly. "I won't let that happen. Beside's he's got nothing to charge you with."

"What about defiling his daughter?" Kathleen shook her head.

"Hey dad." Maureen answered out of breath.

"Please tell me your not fighting with anyone and your not doing something I don't want to know about."

"Don't worry dad. My sibling's aren't around and my boyfriend's out of town. I'm running."

"Okay good. You have a boyfriend?"

"Yes dad. I am twenty seven."

"Yeah I know. Can you meet me and your siblings at ZaZa's tonight?"

"Sure. What time?"

"Seven."

"I'll be there about seven fifteen. My class lets out at seven."

"How much longer are you in the city?"

"Um. My class ends in four days."

"Then back to Virginia?"

"Yep. Are you with Liv?"

"What? Why would you ask that?"

"Because you sound really happy. And now your getting nervous."

"I am _not _nervous."

"Sure."

"Goodbye Maur."

"Bye dad. Tell Liv I said hi. Love you both!" She laughed.

"Love you to. Bye."

"So?" Olivia asked when he set the phone down.

"Dickie can't get a date. Elizabeth has more lover's than I do. Kathleen was having sex while I was on the phone with her and Maureen says hi."

"Oh well. Glad everyone's good." Olivia laughed.

"Shut up." Elliot smiled.

"So they'll meet us a seven?" Olivia asked popping her fingers.

"That's what they said. Maur will be there at seven fifteen. Don't be nervous Liv." Olivia nodded as her stomach fell. Of course she was nervous. There was no turning back after tonight.


	11. Dinner for 8, Dessert for 2

A/N: Ok so this is the next to last chapter...lol. I was going to end it here but OCD kinda kicked in and I couldn't end it on a odd number. lol. Yes, I know I'm strange. I have had four cups of coffee though so I'm a lil farther out there than normal Sam! lol! Ok so here ya' go.

Disclaimer: I don't own them. If I did. You'd know it. lol!

Kinsey and Sam here ya' go!

3:00 p.m.

"Novak." Casey answered, really not wanting to be called for anything. She had got home from court.

"Casey-."

"Elliot, please tell me you don't need a search warrent." Casey pleaded. Elliot smiled on the other end.

"No. I was wondering if you could watch the kids tonight?"

"Depends. How many am I keeping? Three, eight, twelve, one?"

"Four."

"The youngest one's I'm assuming."

"Yeah, I'm afraid Dickie and Lizzie will give them a new vocabulary, Kathleen might put them in therapy and Maur has school."

"Well what are you two doing that you can't- Ohhh."

"Casey." Elliot warned. Casey broke out in laughter.

"Sure Elliot. As long as Liv is finally getting her sheets twisted!"

"Goodbye Casey!"

"Bye Elliot." Casey laughed as she hung up.

Elliot hung up the phone turning around to find Jeremiah standing there. Elliot bent down and picked up his son.

"Daddy?"

"Guilty." Elliot said carrying him into the livingroom. Jeremiah gave him a wierd look but started talking.

"Guess what!"

"Hmm?"

"You havta' make guesses!"

"You play with little blue aliens every night?"

"No's. Me and Ittay and Sena and Awex all have the same cower eytes and hairs!" He said grabbing his hair and pointing to his eyes. Elliot got a over exaggerated surprised look on his face.

"Really?" Jeremiah nodded quickly. "I already know this son. It's because the triplets are your sister's. Just like Maur, Kathleen, and Lizzie."

"Well ten whoots there mommys?"

"Olivia."

"Ten Olibias my mommys to!" Jeremiah said smiling big.

"No."

"Ten hows tat workin?" _Because your dad's a man whore. _Elliot thought and laughed out loud.

"That's something I will explain when you are older. Now go play with the girls."

"Tan I 'rest 'em?"

"Sure." Jeremiah jumped up off the couch running into the room where the triplet's were. A series of screams and laughing followed.

5:00 p.m.

"Serena Alyene if you do not get back in that bath I'm going to jerk a knot in your tail!" Olivia yelled as she heard little feet running back towards the bathroom. _God Dana wore off on me. _

"Mommmmmmmmyyyy I'm done's!!"

"Okay Alex. There's a towel for each of you on the counter."

"To me gets me!" Olivia made her way to the bathroom pulling Alex and Issabelle out of the tub and wrapping the towel's around them.

"Serena you better wash up or I'll leave you home by yourself tonight." Serena crossed her arms over her chest in the bath water that had the last remains of bubbles and toys floating everywhere.

"Fine!"

"And lose the attitude little one." Serena stuck her tongue out at Olivia's retreating back. "I saw that. Your getting awfully brave, Serena Alyene Stabler."

5:30 p.m.

Olivia had just finished drying Alex's hair when Serena walked in with a oversized towel thrown around her.

"Glad you could grace us with you presence Miss Stabler."

"I's not goin'."

"Oh, really?" Olivia walked over kneeling down in front of her daughter. Serena pulled her lips into a fine line as she nodded quickly.

"Well unfortunately you don't get to decide that. Now go dry off and pick out what you want to wear."

"No!"

"Excuse me?" Olivia said raising an eyebrow.

"No mam's."

"Try again." Serena pulled her eyebrows together and shook her head and Olivia nodded. "Now go." Serena hesitated and Olivia gave her "the mother look" and Serena ran out of the room clutching her towel.

Olivia had dressed Alex in a red summer dress with white flowers on the bottom and braided her hair in two braids. She dressed Issabelle in a green dress and pulled her hair up into a single ponytail. She turned around when she heard little feet and was met with Serena standing in the doorway wearing green pants and a purple long sleeve shirt with a red tank top on top, her wet hair sticking to her face and arms. Olivia flinched on the inside.

"You planning on going like that?"

"Yes."

"No. Go get a dress."

"No."

"You can wear the princess dress."

"Otay. If I hast to. Yoor tilling me mommy!"

"Oh I'm sure." Olivia said laughing as her daughter walked out of the room. "Okay go watch TV. and try not to mess up your hair," She said kissing the tops of her other two daughter's heads.

"And don't answer the door!" Izzy and Alex ran into the living room. Olivia walked over to her closet and pulled out white Capriʼs with black pin stripe's and a strapless stark white shirt with red trim around the top and bottom. She pulled her hair up leaving some strands hanging down and put her make up on. "Serena come on. It's six o' clock."

Serena walked in with her yellow dress with white lace on the bottom and her sandals with Snow White on the Velcro straps.

"I 'ant my hairs haf wayd up"

"What do you say?"

"Peas and tankyoo!" She said smiling big showing her little white teeth and closing her eyes.

"Alright get over here." Olivia said smiling.

As soon as she finished with Serena's hair she heard a knock at the door. Olivia walked around Serena towards the living room. "Don't-" Issabelle answered the door. "Answer it."

"Daddy!" Issabelle shrieked.

"Issabelle Don. What did I say about _not _answering the door?"

"Is jus daddy and Jemiah. Mommy you look sto petty!"

"She sucking up." Elliot laughed. Olivia nodded. "Actually you clean up pretty nice, Benson." Elliot was dressed in black slacks with a black shirt and a red tie.

"Goin' to a funeral Stabler?"

"Ha. Ha." Elliot said dryly.

"Look! Mommy and Daddy matches!" Alex pointed out. Jeremiah was dressed in dark blue dress pants, white dress shirt, and a dark blue clip on tie.

"Well you are the cutest little thing I have ever seen." Olivia said crouching down. "El stop cutting his hair. You suck at it."

"Well I'm sorry. Would you like to." Olivia hit him in the leg.

"No let him grow it out. He'd look really cute."

"Since when does Detective Benson use words like "cute"?"

"Since Detective Benson quit being Detective Benson." She said standing up. Elliot pressed his lips into hers once she was eye level.

"Ewww...that's nowsty!" Olivia pulled back.

"Thank you for that Serena." Elliot said. "Did she say nasty or naughty?"

"Nasty. Naughty is Notey."

"Duly noted." Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Your weltoms by de way!" Serena said pushing out a loud breath. Elliot laughed.

"Well is everyone ready to go?" Elliot asked. "It's six forty-five."

"Yeah, I think so."

"I brought the SUV so we can all fit." Olivia let out a laugh.

"I don't have car seats, Captain."

"Got it covered Detective." Olivia smiled.

"You think of everything don't you?"

"I like to think so. Alright who wants to sit by Jeremiah?" Elliot said louder and enthusiastic looking at his daughters. Alex looked at her sister's and raised her hand fast. "Alright Alex win's!"

"Let's go." Olivia laughed. They all walked towards the door.

"Wadies firstes." Jeremiah said.

"Aww...Oh my goodness you are adorable." Olivia laughed. She bent down and picked up Jeremiah carrying him down the hall to the elevator. Elliot closed the door behind him watching her walk with his son in her arms. Everything had finally fallen into place. _Now I just need her to stay. _

On the way to the restaurant Faithfully by Journey came on the radio.

"You know what? I lost my," Olivia stopped remembering the four sets of little ears in the back of the car. "Shoe to this song." Elliot looked over at her and realized what she meant.

"Did ya' get it bat mommy?" Elliot busted out laughing.

"No honey. I didn't."

"How exactly do you lose your "_shoe"_ to a song?"

"It was playing when I lost it." It wasn't a lie, she really did lose her shoe the night she lost her virginity. There's no telling how long it stayed in the back of Tommy Bishop's car.

_And being apart aint easy  
On this love affair  
Two strangers learn to fall in love again  
I get the joy  
Of rediscovering you  
Oh girl, you stand by me  
Im forever yours...faithfully_

_"Are you ready to go home Olivia? I got to get home." Olivia was laying there in her bra and Tommy's basketball jersey lying over her sweat drenched body. Not from the sex. It was because it was so damn hot in that car. She was sixteen years old laying in the back of a car. Her body sticking to the vinyl of Tommy Bishop's '63 Rambler. Their first date and probably their last. _

_"Yeah, I'm ready." _She was right, that was the last date they had, but it didn't matter. She could do better and she did.

"Liv?" Olivia came back to reality.

"Yeah?"

"I said we're almost there."

"Oh. Right." Olivia looked out the window as Elliotʼs hand grasped hers on her thigh.

_I'm forever your's. Faithfully._

"I didn't say that you could laugh." Elizabeth said looking over at Dickie.

"Shut up whore."

"Hey, only I can call her a whore," Kathleen commented. "Now sit down bitch."

"I believe she was talking to you Richard." Lizzie laughed walking over and hugging her sister.

"Guess what Kath."

"Hmm?" Lizzie sat on Kathleen's right and Dickie sat on her left.

"I figured out why Dickie can never get a date."

"Why?" Kathleen smiled.

"Because he's a," Lizzie moved her hands like she was swinging a bat and clicked her tongue.

"Switch hitter."

"Hey just like your old man." Elliot said slapping Dickie on the back. Kathleen spit her wine out

laughing hysterically.

"Honey I don't think they were talking about baseball." Olivia said trying no to laugh. Realization shown on Elliot's face.

"Girls." He scolded. "I told you not to pick on your brother."

"But it's so easy." Lizzie said.

"Like you." Dickie said looking at her. It was Olivia's turn to choke on her wine. Three little girls sat down around the table.

"Damn dad. Are you _trying _to repopulate the world?"

"No. Just Manhattan."

"Well I'd say your halfway there." Lizzie stood up to hug her dad.

"Elizabeth Danielle Stabler what are you wearing?" She was wearing a red strapless shirt and a blue jean skirt that ended at least five inches above her knees.

"Clothes?!"

"Eliz-"

"Elliot." Elliot looked down at Olivia and she shook her head. He hugged his daughter and she sat down. Lizzie looked over at Olivia mouthing a thank you and Olivia smiled as she nodded.

Kathleen slowly stood up. She was wearing a spaghetti strapped dress with thin white and green horizontal stripes, it was low cut and short. Elliot suppressed a groan as he hugged her. Maureen walked up to the table.

"Hello family." She said looking at her siblings then noticed Olivia and the three little girls by her.

Olivia looked uncomfortable. "And more family." Maureen was wearing dark blue slacks and a V neck white shirt.

Dickie coughed _Fed_ into his hand.

"Oh what are you? Five." Lizzie smarted off.

"How olds your date tonight Liz?" Lizzie looked down at the table muttering incoherently. Olivia laced her finger's through Elliotʼs under the table as Maureen sat down in between Jeremiah and Alex. Alexandra looked up at the older girl.

"Whatʼs your names?"

"Maureen."

"Maurd-what?" Maureen laughed.

"Maureen."

"Tats a strange name."

"I know! Whatʼs yours?"

"Awex."

"Whatʼs your name?" Lizzie asked the little girl sitting next to Alex.

"Ittabelle. Whats yoors?"

"Elizabeth, but call me Lizzy."

"Tall mes Itty."

"Alright Izzy." Liz smiled.

"Well that leaves you. What's your name little one?" Kathleen looked at the little girl sitting beside Liv.

"Seena." Kathleen glanced at Olivia.

"Serena." She said. Kathleen nodded.

"Whos tem?" Izzy asked looking at Liv.

"They're your brothers and sisters." Elliot responded.

"You means teres mored of uts?" Olivia laughed.

"Yep." Maureen grabbed Kathleen's wine and downed it.

"Get your own bit- Maur." Maureen rolled her eyes. Olivia passed her almost full wine glass to Maureen and she greatly accepted it. Olivia motioned towards the bathroom and Maureen nodded. As Olivia got up to follow Maureen Elliot grabbed her hand.

"Everything okay?" Olivia smiled and bent down as she placed a kiss on his lips.

"Of course." She walked towards the bathroom as Elliot continued his conversation with Dickie.

Olivia pushed the heavy red door marked _Ladies_ open and found Maureen leaning over the sink.

"Liv I'm glad you're back. I haven't seen my dad this happy in- God. I don't know how long." Olivia smiled warmly.

"You going to tell me whatʼs wrong?"

"I'm engaged." Maureen blurted out.

"Oh. Maureen." Olivia pulled her into a hug. "You don't know how to tell your dad?"

"No Detective Benson, I don't."

"Just tell him. He won't say anything. As long as you're not pregnant!" Olivia laughed. Maureen looked down at the floor. "Oh god. You're not pregnant. Are you?" Maureen laughed.

"God no!" Olivia realized what the problem was.

"He's never met him has he?" Maureen shook her head.

"He never met him." Olivia rubbed her temples.

"Alright. Here's what we'll do. You tell him. Tonight! And I won't let your dad say anything to bad."

"Thank you Liv. I'm glad you and my dad are back together."

"Okay. Lets see this ring." Maureen pulled her ring out of her pocket and handed it over to Liv.

"Holy shit. What does this guy do?"

"He's in school with me. His parent's are both agents."

"Damn. I knew I shoulda stayed with the Feds." Olivia laughed. "How many carats is this thing?"

"Three."

"God. I guess we should get back to the table." Olivia laughed.

"I guess so."

"So Olivia. Where have you been all this time?" Lizzie leaned in.

"Well I always wanted to travel to another country and when-"

"Just answer the question, Detective." Kathleen laughed.

"Itlay." Olivia answered.

"Oh my God. I totally want to go there. Will you take me?"

"No."

"Yes." Elliot and Olivia answered together.

"Yes." Olivia said again looking at Elliot. Everyone was about done as Olivia looked over at Maureen and nodded. Maureen stood up.

"Everyone I have something to say."

"Oh you _are_ pregnant." Dickie smarted off.

"Shut the hell up ass wipe." Kathleen elbowed Dickie in the ribs.

"Ah. Bitch." Elliot slammed his hand on the table. Everyone jumped but Olivia. She had noticed the warning signs and was just waiting on him to explode.

"Enough. I don't want to hear that language anymore." Elliot said his voice low. Olivia noticed his jaw tense and she squeezed his thigh.

"Go on Maureen." Olivia smiled. Maureen pulled her ring out and placed it on her hand.

"I'm engaged." Olivia felt Elliotʼs leg tense and she leaned over.

"Calm down, El." She whispered as he shot a look at her.

"Maureen you're totally stealing Liv's thunder." Kathleen spoke up. Maureen looked down at her sister.

"What?"

"Liv came back and got together with dad and they told us that they have 3 children together and then you tell us this. You're stealing her thunder." Olivia laughed.

"It's perfectly fine, Kathleen."

"You children are going to kill me." Elliot deadpaned. "Maur just make sure I meet him before the wedding and preferably more than once."

"You got it dad." Maureen looked down at her watch. "I got to get going. It's 9:30."

"Doodbyed Maurdeen!" Serena and Izzy said as Alex waved. Everyone started laughing as she hugged everyone and said goodbye as she walked out of the restaurant.

"El we should get going. The kids need to get in bed."

"Yeah, hang on. I'll be right back." Elliot walked out to the front of the restaurant and pulled out his phone.

"Hellooooo Elliot." Casey answered laughing. "You ready to twist some sheets?"

"Casey. Never mind. Can you come?"

"Well yes I can. More than once sometimes. But I don't think I'm the one you want to come." Elliot choked up.

"Casey-."

"I'm just kidding Elliot. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Bye Case."

"Bye Elliot." Elliot hung up and walked back into the restaurant sitting down at the table.

"Dad you're buying this right?" Lizzie asked.

"You can't pay for your own, why?"

" 'Cause I'm a college student."

"And I'm an under paid Captain and a father of eight."

"You got yourself into that father of eight thing!" Elliot nodded.

"Yes I'm paying."

"Dad it's 9:40 and I got to go." Kathleen said standing up and hugging everyone. "Love you all. Bye." Everyone said bye and left as Casey was coming in.

"Olivia Benson I'm here for your children." Casey said a little to loud. Olivia spit her wine out a little.

"Casey Novak. Shhh." She said looking around the restaurant nodding apologies. Casey looked around.

"There's hardly anyone here. You and the whole family take up half the restaurant."

"Shut up Casey. What do you want?"

Your chlidren. Me. Can we go? I'm missing Ace Ventura. Hand 'em over Liv."

"Why do-"

"Alex, Serena, Izzy, and Jeremiah you're going with Aunt Casey tonight." Elliot cut in. The four of them stood up excitedly.

"Damn. Can't you two have one at a time like normal people? Or is that to hard?"

"Well yes it's hard."

"Olivia Benson are you trying to make that dirty?"

"Yes."

"Well it worked." Casey laughed.

"Casey their bags are in the car. Just leave the keys in the floor and Donʼt Lock It!"

"Oh come on. Both of you we're detectives. Surely you know how to break into a car."

"Casey." Elliot warned.

"Oh I'm just kidding. But think about it. You two. Locked out. Oh the possibilities!" Casey laughed as she ushered the children out.

**10:15 p.m. **

"What was that all about Elliot?"

"Just thought you could use a night to yourself." Olivia hadn't spent a night without her children in three years. Sadness washed over Olivia and it didn't go unnoticed by Elliot. He shifted her chair to where it faced him and he took her face in his hands. Tears were forming in her eyes. He leaned in and placed his lips on hers. He moved his mouth over Olivia's opening his mouth to her. Olivia placed her hand on his face. She slid her tongue into his mouth and he nipped at her lip. She moaned into him as he placed his hand on her hip feeling the her skin.

"Oh God. Come on. I mean seriously." Lizzie's voice cut through their passion.

"Get a room already." Dickie said.

"It's 10:30 and we're leaving." Lizzie said motioning to herself and Dickie.

"I didn't say I was leaving."

"Well we came in my car...so yeah, we're leaving Dou-Dickie." He shot her a dirty look and stood up.

"Bye Liv, Bye dad." Dickie said as he walked towards the door.

"Well as fun as this has been I'm leaving." Lizzie smiled. "Bye you two."

"Bye honey." Liv smiled. Lizzie ran towards the door trying to catch up with her twin. Elliot put money on the table and grabbed Olivia's hand pulling her up.

"Come on lets go." Olivia downed her wine.

"I'm coming Elliot."

"Not yet." Elliot laughed.

"Shut up."

"Make me." Olivia slammed him into the car and pressed her lips into his hard. Elliot pulled back.

"Shit." He sucked his bottom lip.

"Awww poor baby. Can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen." Elliot reversed them pushing her into the car door, pinning her there with his lower body. Olivia grinded into him.

"El- Elliot." Olivia started. "Are you going to do this out here?" Elliot sucked on her collar bone.

"Mmm.. Maybe."

"Come on El. Lets go. Your place or mine?"

"Your's" Elliot mumbled.

"Alright." Olivia pushed Elliot off of her. "The faster we leave the faster we can...get there." Olivia said smiling as she opened the car door. "Well come on." She looked at Elliot who was still standing there. He rushed around to the other side of the car and slid in.

Olivia's front was pressed into the hard surface of the door and the hard planes of Elliots body was pressing into her back. She was trying to slide the key in the door but was failing. Elliot had a fistful of her hair and he was kissing the back of her neck, her pulse points and the skin behind her ear. She couldn't do this one simple task.

"Elliot I'm about to shoot this damn doorknob off." Olivia said breathless. Elliot took the key from her and slid it into the door so forcefully she was sure the key had snapped in half. Olivia turned the knob and they both fell into her hotel room. Olivia threw down her purse as Elliot dropped his keys. She stopped and looked around. Everything was like they left it. Toys everywhere, and clothes thrown half hazardly around except there were red, white, and yellow rose petals in a line the width of a sidewalk from the front door leading to her closed bedroom door. There was a paper taped on the door. She felt tears threatening as she walked towards the door. She pulled the paper tape off and opened it. Inside were three sentences.

_I promise to never hurt you again. _

_If you'll give me another chance. _

_I love you Olivia Benson._

Olivia was crying as she read the last sentence and felt Elliotʼs arms snake around her waist and opened the door. She stood in the doorway looking around the room. There were rose petals everywhere, the sheets were black satin and at least two dozen candles were burning on every surface.

"I love you Olivia." Elliot said from behind her and she felt her chest burning. Olivia turned to face Elliot and the vision in front of him took his breath away. He reached up and pulled the clip out of her hair. Her tan skin was contrasting with the candle light and she appeared to be glowing with her hair all around her face. Her eyes were light brown and the light was reflecting off of the streaks on her face. Olivia nodded.

"When did you do this?"

"I had Maureen do it."

"I love you to El." He slammed his lips into hers and she let out a cry. Elliotʼs tongue passed her lips and he dug his hands into her hair on both sides of her face. He slanted over her fusing their lips together. Olivia tasted like wine and sex. Hot sex. The kind where she couldn't walk for a day afterwards. Olivia slid her hands over Elliotʼs face and pulled his mouth harder on hers letting go of everything and losing herself in the pleasure that is Elliot Stabler.

Elliot pulled Olivia's tongue into his mouth and kissed her with the tenderness that people wouldn't expect from a man like Elliot. He pulled away from Olivia as she looked at him studying the emotions in his eyes.

"I trust you El." That was all she had to say. Elliot led her to the bed laying her down. He slid his hand over her stomach, up towards her breast. He grasped her through the cotton of her shirt as she undid his tie tossing it on the bed next to them. He took a clothed nipple into his mouth as she moaned arching up into him. Elliot slid his hand up her shirt slipping it over her head. He nipped at her bottom lip kissing his way down to her breast. Missing her nipples each time on purpose.

"El-." He sucked her nipple into his mouth. "Oh fuck." Olivia ran her hand through his hair pulling him closer to her body. He ran a hand down and quickly unbuttoned and unzipped her pants. He trailed a finger over her stomach casually dipping a little under the top of her panties.

"El-Elliot, please." She was not above begging right now. He slowly slid down her body pulling her pants and panties with him as he sat up staring down at her. She was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. Her legs were pulled up and her eyes closed with her lips slightly open while she was rocking her hips in anticipation and her arms were laying above her head. Elliot was ready to cum just by watching her. He placed his hands on top of Olivia's knees and slowly pulled them apart. He kissed the side of her knees, then down her thighs. He placed a soft kiss on the flesh where the inside of her thigh met her hip. Elliot slowly slid his tongue through her folds and Olivia whimpered. Fucking whimpered. It was at that moment Elliot decided that he was going to do whatever it took to make her make that noise again.

Elliot's mouth attacked Olivia without any warning and Olivia let out a scream. He was sucking and nipping and licking. Olivia had never let any guy do this to her. Elliot pulled her clit into his mouth and Olivia lost every coherent thought. With Elliotʼs hands holding down her hips she couldn't move, so her upper body came off the bed and she pulled herself into a sitting position using her hands to prop her up. Elliot looked up at her and winked as he ran his teeth over her clit. Olivia came, holding on to Elliotʼs hair and digging into his shoulder. Screaming to a new found God and cursing Elliot's name as she felt her body rip in half. When Olivia came down from her high her hands were shaking and her legs were still having spasms. She was still sitting up, and Elliot was on his knees between hers. He was smirking at her, she narrowed her eyes.

"Yo- You look satisfied with yourself." She smarted off.

"You look like _your _satisfied." Elliot stated with his shit eating grin.

Olivia leaned up and kissed Elliotʼs neck unbuttoning his shirt, but her hands were still shaking so bad, she was having a little problem. It was understandable of course, she did just have the most earth shattering orgasm ever.

"Do you want some help Liv?"

"No." She said as she ripped Elliotʼs shirt open.

"Hey, I liked that shirt." Olivia pushed Elliot onto the bed straddling him.

"I bought it for you. I'll buy you another one." She ran her tongue over his abs as she made quick work of his belt and pants throwing them on the floor. Olivia grasped Elliot in her hand moving up and down slowly as she placed her mouth on his tip. Olivia slid her mouth down his length and sucked harder. Elliot let out a throaty moan as he tangled his hands in her hair. Olivia sucked the tip of his penis as she ran her hand up and down firmly. She felt his hands tighten in her hair as his body became stiff and he emptied himself into her mouth with a long, loud moan. Olivia made her way back up Elliot's body placing kisses on various parts until she reached his mouth. She licked at his bottom lip as she positioned herself over him.

"You're going to kill me."

"At least you'll go happy." Olivia said smiling against his mouth as she slid him into her.

"Holy shit, Liv."

"Shut up Elliot. I haven't had sex in two years, besides the comfort my hand offered."

"I'd like to see that sometime." Elliot smirked.

"Enough talking." He groaned as she shifted on him. Olivia placed her middle finger on her clit as she moved up and down, Elliot starring at her in amazement. He reached out and placed his thumb on her finger pressing their fingers against her clit. Olivia braced herself on Elliotʼs chest as she moved faster. Their fingers were wet with her desire and each time he moved his thumb in a circle she bucked and he moved farther inside her. Olivia threw her head back and let out a long moan moving faster and harder.

"Fuck Elliot. I can't hold out much longer." Olivia let out a whimper as her nails dug into Elliotʼs chest. Elliot flipped them over and pounded into her. Olivia placed her palms on the headboard as she pushed back into Elliot. They were both covered in sweat, her thighs were sliding over his hips as he drove into her. Olivia screamed Elliotʼs name as she arched off the bed and felt Elliotʼs warmth fill her. Olivia's brow finally relaxed and her mouth closed, and she slowly opened her eyes after a couple of minutes. She let go of Elliotʼs bicep where her nail prints had almost drew blood.

"Holy hell Elliot." Olivia's hair was sticking to her arms and forehead and her body was still shaking a little.

"Yeah I know." Elliot laughed.

"I'm hungry." Elliot smiled.

"Okay lets get you something to eat Liv."

"I will when I can move again." Elliot go up off the bed and pulled his NYPD sweat pants she had and tugged them on. He walked over to the closet and through a white dress shirt he had left over at her.

"How do you know I want to wear any clothes?"

"I have no objection if you don't." Elliot laughed walking out of the room. She pulled the shirt on buttoning the bottom four buttons. Olivia found him in the kitchen making sandwiches and she went to the fridge bending over to get two beers. Elliot looked over and did a double take immediately feeling himself harden again. Olivia stood up looking at him.

"What?" She asked shrugging.

"Oh don't play innocent. You know I'm very close to slamming you up against that fridge." Olivia put the beers next to the refrigerator.

"Why don't you?" Elliot walked over and pressed her against it. He slowly trailed his fingers down her torso. Olivia grabbed his hand shaking her head.

"Elliot you just gave me easy, slow, and loving. Now I want hard, rough, and unforgiving." Elliot laughed.

"I always figured you liked it a little rough."

"Whatʼs pleasure without a little pain?" Elliot picked Olivia up placing her on the counter. He pulled her hips towards him to where she had to hold onto him if she wanted to stay off the floor. He pushed his pants down and pushed into her. She smiled at how much he filled her.

"Elli-" He thrust into her so quickly her hand slipped and her head hit the cabinet.

"Shit." Elliot stopped for a minute.

"Liv-"

"I'm fine." Olivia bucked against him. Elliot slammed into her again. Olivia held herself up pushing on Elliot's body and on her hands that were braced on the counter. Olivia squeezed her thighs around Elliotʼs hips. He was squeezing Olivia's hips so hard he was going to bruise her. Elliot kept ramming into her thumbing her nipples through his shirt. He brought one of his hands up and snaked it between them and pinched her clit.

"Son of a bitch." She yelled as she came around Elliotʼs cock. Her muscles tightening around Elliot as she dug her nails into him again. She placed her foot on the front of the counter and lifted off. She was now fucking him. It only took a couple of thrust from her and he came for the third time that night. Olivia was writing on the counter and her lower back was killing her from being slammed against the edge of the counter and she was seeing stars. She wasn't sure if it was from her orgasm or from her head being rammed into the cabinet. Elliot was sucking on her collar bone and she was rocking her hips involuntarily.

"Hey Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"You need a shower." She felt him smiling on her skin.

"I think we both do."

_No Turning Back._


	12. Questions Game

A/N: Okkkay So Mariposa I know I told you that this would be up sooner that it actually is getting put up but I didn't know that the next day my Language teacher was going to assign a five or more page very discriptive essay due in two days lol! That was fun...

This is NOT beta-ed. Sorry for any retard mistakes! Sorry Tanya lol again..I just wanted to get it up!

To everyone else: I lied. Lol. This isn't going to be the last chapter. Or maybe it its. IDK. I want to do another chapter and I can't just add it to the end cuz it would ruin the whole thing I got going here. So who knows! Even though it will kill me to end on a odd number!

Disclaimer: I don't even own a car! It's my parents! lol.

"What did you want to be when you were little?" Olivia ask sitting back down on the couch with two beers. She folds her legs under her handing one to Elliot.

"I'm not telling."

"Why?"

"Because you'll laugh." He responds wrapping his arm around Olivia's waist.

"No I wont. I swear!"

"A Space Cowboy." The drink that Olivia had just taken came out of her mouth and all over her shirt and Elliots arm.

"I'm sorry." Olivia laughs.

"I'm sure. What did you want to be?" Elliot asked as Olivia wiped his arm off.

"A model." Elliot smild. "What?"

"Nothing. I would love to stare at you in those Victoria Secret magazines." Olivia slaps his arm standing up and pulling her wet NYPD shirt off.

"Give me your shirt." Elliot looks up at her.

"Why?"

"Becuase mine's wet."

"Go get another one."

"No."

"Why?"

"Becuase they'll be cold. I want your's." Olivia responds folding her arms across her chest.

"Fine." Elliot pulls his shirt off handing it over to Olivia who greatly accepts it. She slips his NYPD shirt on and sits back down.

"Do you find it wierd that we were matching?" Elliot lets out a laugh.

"No. Did you ever want kids?"

"No. Even when I was younger I could never look at my future and picture the husband and 2.4 kids and a dog in a house with a white picket fence." Elliot nods.

"Did you?"

"Sort of. The way my dad treated us I was always afraid I would grow up and be just like him."

"Well you're not anything like your dad."

"And you're nothing like your mother."

"Thank God for small mircales! What was your favorite song in high school."

"Oh Lord. Either Faithfully or any Journey song or Hotel California. And Paradise By The Dashboard Light. What about you?"

"Killer Queen by Queen. Or 867-5309."

"Oh my God. Did you ever call that number?"

"Of course. Didn't everyone?" Olivia laughs as she thinks back to her high school.

"Yeah. I guess they did. What is the craziest place you've ever had sex?"

"On top of the Ferris Wheel."

"Please tell me you're joking."

"No, when I was sixteen I took my girlfriend, Samantha, to the fair and we were at the top of the ferris wheel when something went wrong and we ended up getting stuck up there for an hour or so. One thing led to another. It was a crazy place to lose your virginity."

"Aw El, you lost your virginity to little Sammy?" Olivia starts laughing.

"Yeah, very funny." Elliot responds dryly. "What about you?"

"The dressing room at Macy's."

"Are you serious?"

"Um...yeah. It was a wierd...thing..I don't really know what happened...it just...did." Olivia was stumbling over her words.

"What's your favorite movie?"

"A League Of Their Own. Duh."

"Oh yeah. Of course."

"What's your's?"

"Varsity Blues."

"I love that movie. I just love Billy Bob. He makes me laugh everytime I watch that movie."

"What time is it?"

"Is that your question?"

"No I just want to know what time it is."

"Three AM."

"I'm not even tired."

"Well after our sexcapades you should be. I sure am."

"Hmm...that's odd."

"Not really, your just built for sex. Little Olivia over here isn't." Elliot leans over and places a kiss on the crown of her head as he smiles.

"So you know what one of my favorite parts of Varsity Blues is?"

"Sure." Olivia responds half asleep.

"You know where they go to the strip club and the stripper ends up being their teacher?"

"Mmmmhhmmm."

"Well after that when Billy Bob is talking and he says "I give it a...ten...a ten...a fucking ten." Then they go on talking and he keeps going a ten! It cracks me up everytime." Elliot laughs.

"Yeeeahhh." Elliot looks down Olivia is almost asleep.

"I always loved Foreigner to. And ACDC. They were amazing."

"I loooved ADCD." She responded with her eyes closed.

"ADCD?! Really?"

"Mmmhmm. I love the song Thunderstruck." Elliot stands up picking Olivia up and carrying her to the bedroom. He layed her down pulling the sheets around her after giving her another kiss. He stood up starring down at her. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She was worn out, he could tell but she was still gorgeous. He wanted this woman more than anything. He placed something on the table next to her and walked around to the other side of the bed crawling in and wrapping his arms around her. As he drifted off to sleep, he told her he loved her.

"Love you to, El. Always."

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII don wanna." Izzy screamed.

"Sit down Issabelle. Now." Elliot said in a stern voice. Olivia sat up in bed. _What the hell is going on?_ Olivia got out of bed and walked into the next room.

"What is wrong?"

"I wanna Ducky Tarms and Daddy gaved me Foot Loops!"

"Issabelle Don you sit your butt in that chair right now and eat your cereal." Issabelle slowly made her way back down and pushed the multi colored circles around her bowl. Olivia rubbed her face and turned around walking back into the room. Thats when she noticed it. A card sitting on the table by her bed. She walked in and picked it up. On the backside was Elliots handwriting.

_One more question Olivia._

_Will you marry me?_

Olivia looked down and saw the ring. It was a silver band with a princess diamond in the middle and two diamonds beside it. Inside were the words No Turning Back. Olivia felt her tears fall as Elliot's arms wrapped around her. She slid the ring on.

"Does that mean Yes?"

Olivia nodded and Elliot pressed a kiss into the back of her head.

_No Turning Back. _Olivia thought. _Not Now. Not Ever._

A/N: Ok so pretty sure that totally sucked but my brain is still in College English perfect paper mode right now not in the have Elliot and Olivia go at it like wild animals mode...which we all love! lol. Don't deny it! But...yeah. Review it or...dont. Well ya. Review. But not if youre going to tell me it sucked. I already know that!


	13. Authors Note

So I just wanted to let everyone know that I had planned on having the last chapter of No Turning Back up this weekend BUT I got all 4 of my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday and I'm doing good just to be able to write this authors note. But as soon as the pain goes away...about a week...the last chapter should be up! Sorry!

Lisa


	14. Heading For Distruction

A/N: Now that this story is over I'm kinda really sad...lol. This story is not Happily Ever After. Don't get me wrong..I love happy ever after I just didn't want my story to end that way. I tried to show how Olivia is always being pulled between being a mother, a friend, and a wife. I don't know if I accomplished that or not so tell me. This last chapter ends where my next story will begin. I hope you read the next one. Three things before I start the story. One: Thank you Tanya for being my Beta! Two: Sam you so can not kick my ass!!! Three: This chapter and my next story is dedicated to anyone who has ever been affected by physical abuse or drug abuse.

Disclaimer: They belong to Dick Wolf...Lucky Bastard... I only own the people in my imagination..

Ohhhh one more thing! I can't wait for Tuesday cuz I want to know why Olivia fucking screamed!!!!! ITS KILLING ME!!!!!

E/O

Lizzie jumped over the back of the couch landing on Dickie.

"Get the hell off me." Dickie complained as he shoved her onto the floor.

"How was I suppose to know you were there? You're lying down!" Dickie looked at his twin then at his feet that were draped on the back of the couch. Lizzie followed his gaze. "It's not my fault you have small feet. And _everyone_ knows what they say about small feet." Lizzie laughed as she laid down on the coffee table. Dickie brought his hand down onto his sisters stomach. "BASTARD!"

Elliot and Olivia walked through the front door with the youngest four.

"Children stop it. Lizzie get off the coffee table. Its made of glass and you could go right through it." Elliot warned.

"Yeah you whale." Dickie said sitting up.

"Richard Stabler!" Elliot slapped the back of his sons head. "Don't talk to your sister that way."

"OW dad that really hurt."

"Good." Elliot smiled when he felt Olivia's hand brush the back of his own head. Lizzie ran over and attacked Olivia pulling her into a a hug.

"I need to talk to you ASAP!" Lizzie whispered into her stepmothers ear. Olivia buried her face into Lizzie's blond hair wrapping her arms around her waist.

"Could this have anything to do with that black eye you've been covering up for four days?" Lizzie's pulled back shocked and looked at Olivia.

"How'd you-"

"Mommy. Itty pulleded my haired!" Alex cried. Olivia looked at Lizzie and bent down to pick up her daughter.

"Issabelle get over here." Izzy slowly walked over to her mother. "Did you pull your sisters hair?"

"Yes mam' but her kicked my knee!"

"I did not!"

"UH HUH!"

"UH UH!"

"Enough! Twenty minutes time out. Now!" Olivia put Alex down but neither of the girls moved. "March!" They stalked off up the stairs. "Separate rooms and NOT the play room. Maureen and Kathleen's room or mine and daddy's room ONLY!" Two little groans mocked Olivia.

Olivia looked around at everything going on around her. Serena and Jeremiah were in the sun room off the right of the living room watching Sponge bob. Elliot and Dickie were watching ESPN for the score of the game and Lizzie was sitting on the kitchen counter texting. Olivia and Elliot had found this house five months ago, a month after they wed. It was an amazing buy for a seven bedroom three bath crown Victoria right outside Manhattan. Oh who was she kidding? They spent more on this house than Olivia had on her other four apartments in Manhattan. Olivia glanced at the wall in front of her. There was a black and white 10X14 picture taken at the wedding. Olivia was dressed in a elegant strapless dress and Elliot had dipped her back and kissed her while the four oldest children stood to the left with the four younger ones in front of them; everyone was smiling and looking at the newlyweds. On the right were Alex, Casey, and Melinda, Olivia's bridesmaids, with Fin, Munch and Lake behind each of the women. The sun was shining through the stained glass behind them framing only the newlyweds. It was a picture taken by chance and Olivia's favorite.

Olivia felt a tug on her arm and looked over to find Lizzie starring at her. Olivia nodded and walked up the stairs. She walked into Lizzie's room that was painted in light purple with a dark purple trim and blue furniture decorating. Pictures of Lizzie mostly covered the walls but there were also some with her friends and her siblings, a picture of Elliot throwing her in the air when she was around two stood on her dresser. Above her bed were two 8X10's. One of Liz and her boyfriend of seven months, Jackson. And the other was of Lizzie and herself. Neither of them had any makeup on and their hair was just thrown up on top of their heads. They were hugging each other and covered in purple paint. Liv's forehead said Beautiful in paint and Lizzie's said Beautifuler. They had just finished her room with they had gotten into the "paint war" and Elliot had to have a picture. Above the pictures was a banner with a saying on it. "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. -Dr. Seuss"

"We had a lot of fun that day didn't we?" Liz asked from behind her. Olivia nodded turning around.

"What's wrong?" Lizzie wrapped her arms around Olivia and collapsed crying against the older woman. "Baby what happened?" Olivia stroked her hair. "Shhh..." Olivia found her way to the bed and sat them both down, Lizzie looked up.

"I um you you know how um me and well me and-"

"MOMMY! IS WE DONE YET??" Olivia rolled her eyes and looked at her watch. She stood up and stuck her head out the door.

"Yes. But if I hear anymore fighting you both get spankings!" Olivia closed the door and waited until she heard feet running down the stairs. "You were saying?" Olivia heard the phone ring twice and Elliot answer.

"Well me and um Jackson we were just umm like..-" There was a knock on the door and Elliot walked in.

"Babe Casey's on the phone." Olivia turned towards her husband agitated.

"Can't it wait?"

"I doubt it. She's crying and screaming and I sure as hell can't understand what she's saying." Olivia turned back and studied her stepdaughters face. Elizabeth smiled.

"Go." She said quietly.

"Are you sure? Casey's a drama queen. I'm sure it can wait."

"No. Go. Before she kills dad for not handing the phone over." Olivia smiled and leaned forward kissing her forehead and running a hand over Lizzie's hair before standing up.

"We will talk. As soon as I get off the phone." Olivia winked.

"Sure thing." Lizzie watched Liv and her dad walk out of her room leaving her all alone again. She got off her bed and walked over to her stereo opening the drawer that contained empty cases. She pulled out the Beyoncé case and got the bag of pills attached to it. She swallowed two of them before placing everything back and closing the door. She made her way back to her bed, curling up into a ball and thinking over what she was going to do.

E/O

"Casey?"

"Ohmigod Olivia"

"Casey calm down. Whats wrong?"

"Ohmigod Ohmigod Ohmigod." Casey started hyperventilating.

"Casey where are you?"

"I...in...locked...me...bathroom..."

"Who locked you in the bathroom?"

"Me."

"You locked yourself in the bathroom?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Casey started crying harder. "You know what? I'm coming over. I'll be there in a minute."

"Thank you." Casey blubbered.

"You're welcome." Olivia hung up the house phone and grabbed her keys. She turned around before she got out the door and ran back up the stairs. Olivia leaned on the door frame. "Hey, I've got to go to Casey's. She's spazzing out and locked herself in the bathroom. You wanna ride over with me and we can talk on the way?"

"No. Its fine. Im meeting Jackson at the mall in a little while." Olivia let out a breath.

"Liz, I don't want you seeing him anymore." Lizzie shot up out of bed.

"You're not my mother."

"No but I do know how you got that black eye. I'm not stupid. I've been there to. How many other bruises are you covering up with your clothes? I don't want you seeing him."

"Get the fuck out of my room."

"Excuse me?" Olivia straightened up.

"You heard me. GET OUT!!" She screamed. Lizzie walked over and slammed the door barely missing Olivia.

"Olivia?" She turned to see Elliot at the top of the stairs. "What the hell?" Elliot walked over and banged on the door. "Liz?" In response Lizzie turned her stereo on. "Elizabeth Danielle Stabler open this door or I will break it down again!" Elizabeth appeared in the doorway.

"What?"

"Excuse me?" Elliot hissed. Olivia threw her hands up.

"Whats your problem?" Lizzie looked over.

"I can't do this. I have a hysterical woman in town who I have to go deal with. I don't have time for your hormones to." Olivia walked down the stairs and out the door.

E/O

"Oh thank God you're here. She's been in that bathroom forever." Olivia looked at Lake.

"Do you know why?"

"Not a fucking clue! Listen I have got to get out of here for at least thirty minutes! Please...there's to much estrogen here." Olivia smiled.

"Okay I'll take care of her for a while."

"Thank you. I'll be at the Bar down the street watching the game. I have my phone if you need me!" He yelled stepping onto the elevator. Olivia walked down the hall to the bathroom.

"Case?"

"Olivia?"

"Yeah honey. Whats wrong?"

"I can't do this. I don't have time. My career and Chester's career how is this going to work?"

"Sweetie open the door please?"

"I don't know what I'm doing." Casey yelled.

"Casey dammit. Are you at least away from the door?"

"What?!" Olivia threw her weight into the door forcing it open with a loud crack.

"Casey. What the-"

"What the fuck did you do to my door?" Casey stood up off the lip of the bathtub.

"What was I suppose to do? You wouldn't open it. What is wrong?" Olivia wiped the running mascara and eyeliner off of Casey's porcelain skin with her thumbs. Casey's hair was disheveled and her eyes and nose were red. Casey's eyes cast over to the sink and Olivia followed. Then Olivia noticed the white plastic stick with a smiley face on it. Olivia busted out laughing not being able to hold it in. Casey let out a loud breath.

"See! I knew you would do this!" Casey accused pointing a finger at Olivia. "Where's my phone? I'm calling Alex."

Olivia grabbed the pregnancy test following Casey out of the bathroom.

"No...its...its...just.." Olivia laughed harder. "You're so pissed...off...and...and...theres a little smiley face on here...telling you...you're pregnant... You pissed, pregnancy test happy heehee."

"Shut up Olivia. I peed on that you know?"

"Dear I have four young children who pick up anything that's handy and sometimes it ain't pretty. This does not bother me." Casey rolled her eyes and flopped down on the couch. "Where's your phone? I'm calling Alex and Melinda!" Olivia picked up the phone and Casey covered her face with a pillow.

"Alex!"

"Olivia this better be _really _fucking important."

"Can you just link Melinda in?" Alex moaned.

"Umm yeah. Why?"

"Just do it."

"Grr...fine."

_"Oh fuck yeah baby." _Olivia heard come from the other end of the line.

"Ok we're here."

"Alex are you having sex?!?!?!"

"Uhh yeah."

"Girls if this is why I'm here I'm leaving."

"No its not Mel. Casey's pregnant!!" Melinda and Alex squalled although Olivia wasn't exactly why Alex did. "Damn my cell's ringing. Here talk to Casey." Olivia threw the phone at Casey ignoring her protest.

"Hello?"

"Liv you need to come home now."

"Is everything okay?"

"No. Hurry." Olivia hung up and collected her things.

"Casey that was Dickie. I have to go somethings happened." Casey noticed the fear etched on her friends face.

"Oh I'm coming with you." Casey hung up on her friends and slid her shoes on. Olivia didn't have time to argue so she just nodded.

E/O

Olivia and Casey could hear Lizzie screaming from outside. Casey followed Liv inside looking around for the younger ones.

"Casey will you please-"

"Yeah I'll get them and we'll be at my place." Olivia was near tears.

"Thank you." She headed upstairs the screaming getting louder with every step.

"Leave, Me. Alone."Lizzie yelled.

"I am you father and you will not disrespect me."

"Fuck you!" Olivia threw Liz's bedroom door open pissed off.

"Elizabeth lower you god damn voice right now." Olivia hissed.

"Why should I?"

"There are other people in this house and you _will not _teach my children a new vocabulary." Elizabeth stepped closer to Olivia.

"What makes you think I give a damn about _your _children." Before Olivia could stop herself she reached out and slapped Elizabeth across the face. Elizabeth acted like it didn't even phase her. Olivia took in her appearance. Her pupils were enlarged and her eyes kept darting around.

"As long as you are under My roof you will obey my rules."

"Who says I want to be here?"

"You don't? Fine move your ass out by morning. If you don't I will dammit."

"Oh such language." Elliot stepped in.

"Lizzie whats happened to you?"

"What do you care? Now that you have your soul mate and your perfect family?"

"Oh give me a break." Olivia cut in.

"You know what? Screw you. I'm going to meet Jackson." Lizzie pushed past Olivia to get out of her room. Liv reached out and grabbed a hold of Liz's arm.

"I told you to stay away from him. He's not good for you and I'm pretty sure he's the reason your on drugs." Lizzie's eyes widened for a split second. She reached out and grabbed Liv's chin jerking her face towards her.

"Stay the fuck out of my life." She let go of her face and ripped her arm out of Olivia's grasp, bolting down the stairs and out the door. Olivia started after her until she heard the car speed away. Instead she turned around and walked back into Liz's room. Olivia looked around and walked over to the dresser, opening drawers and pulling out clothes throwing them on the floor.

"Olivia honey what are you doing?"

"I'm going to find these drugs."

"Why the hell would you accuse my daughter of being on drugs?"

"Oh come one Elliot you were a cop. Her pupils were huge, she couldn't focus and was jumpy. Not to mention the huge mood swing we just endured." Elliot stormed out of the room and Olivia heard him beating on another. Elliot tried the knob.

"Richard open the fucking door."

"Dad I'm on the phone." Dickie said opening the door.

"Hang it up."

"I'm going to have to call you back babe." Dickie closed his phone. "Yes?"

"Where are your sisters drugs?" Dickie was caught off guard.

"Uh what?"

"You heard me."

"I-I have no idea."

"Richard I'm your father and a cop. I can tell when you're lying. Now tell me."

"I really don't know. I knew she was on them but I don't know where her stash is." Elliot turned and walked into the next room where his wife had destroyed his daughters room. Clothes were everywhere, drawers dumped on the floor, hangers thrown around the room, shoes spilling out of the closet. Olivia was pulling books out of the shelves and shaking them. Then she moved to her backpack and then her nightstand. Elliot stood there trying to think back to when his baby girl had taken a turn for the worse.

"Son of a bitch." Elliot shouted. Olivia jumped and turned around.

"What?"

"What's Jackson's last name?"

"Why?"

"I'm going to kill the little prick."

"Hanes." Olivia turned back around and continued. She looked around the room and noticed the stereo. It was the only thing in the room she hadn't touched. She walked over to it and lifted the lid looking down at the c.d.'s. She closed it and opened the door on the front and saw only cases. Olivia almost closed it until she saw the case that was sticking out slightly farther than the rest. She reached down and slowly pulled the case out with the little bag of pills following. "Dammit." Olivia whispered. All of her had hoped that she was wrong and that it was just part of Lizzie being a teenager.

E/O

Olivia pressed her back into the elevator wall and closed her eyes listening to the dings of passing floors. She heard laughter as she stepped into the hallway. Olivia knocked on the door and a few seconds later Casey appeared.

"Mommy's here!" Casey yelled. "Yay!" Olivia smiled.

"Get use to it. Mommy."

"Ha. Ha." Casey replied dryly.

"MOMMY!!!" Izzy attacked her mother's legs. Olivia ran a hand over her daughters head and stepped inside. Alex squealed as she ran away from Serena and Jeremiah. Olivia looked down at Isabelle.

"Hmm...what did aunt Casey give ya'll to eat?"

"Dee gaved us idekeem wit bunkes and bunkes of docolate!!! And 'pinkles mommy!!!" Izzy's eyes widened.

"Did she now?" Olivia asked. Casey bent down and picked up the three year old.

"That was our secret." Casey laughed as she placed Izzy in the room with the others and sliding close the plastic panned doors. She was just kidding."

"Mhm Im sure."

"So what happened?" Casey inquired.

"Well she told me to fuck off a couple of times, ran out got into Jacksons car and went God knows where. Oh and then I tore her room apart and found her drugs." Olivia stated. Casey just stared at her friend. She opened her mouth to say something but a loud thump stopped her, then crying followed. Olivia ran over and opened the doors to find Serena on the ground crying.

"Baby what happened?" Olivia asked bending down to pick up her daughter.

"Mommy I telled you!" Jeremiah spoke up. "She'd was runded and Aunt Tasey cwosed de doors and awl de sudden she'd went 'MACK into de doors!" Jeremiah smiled slapping his hands together.

"Jeremiah Elliot this is not funny."

"Taseys waghin!" Olivia looked up at Casey who's eyes and mouth widened trying not to laugh.

"I didn't do anything!" Casey walked into the living room and pretended to pick up things so Olivia couldn't see her laugh.

"Okay lets get ready to go home. Everyone find your shoes." Olivia looked down at Serena. She kissed the red mark forming under her daughters eye. "Feel better?" Serena sniffed and nodded. "Okay go get your shoes." Olivia stood up in time to see Chester coming through the door.

"Hey honey." Casey called from the kitchen.

"Hey." Lake laid his keys on the table by the door then looked down to kick his shoes off but stopping. Olivia noticed what he was looking at. _Oh Shit._ Olivia thought.

"Kids hurry up." She yelled. Chester picked up the plastic stick.

"Hey baby?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you come here for a minute?"

"Sure." Casey walked in and immediately saw what he was holding. "Olivia what the hell? You left it there on the table?"

"What was I suppose to do with it? Take it home?"

"At least throw it away!"

"Okay I don't care why Olivia didn't throw away your pregnancy test. I just want to know why there's a smiley face on here." Olivia started laughing again.

"Again with the damn smiley face." Casey groaned.

"Hey! Are you pregnant?"

"Yeah." Casey whispered. Chester dropped the test and walked over picking Casey up and kissing her. Olivia smiled until he pressed her into the wall and the kiss deepened.

"Okay. Children are in the house!"

"Their your kids not mine." Casey mumbled.

"Alexandra, Isabelle, Serena, and Jeremiah in here now!" The four children ran into the room with their mother. Olivia gave them all their jackets and ushered them out the door. "You can finish now."

"Bye Liv! I love you!" Casey yelled.

"Yeah I know." Olivia closed the door behind her.

E/O

"Serena and Izzy are waiting on your kiss goodnight." Olivia said meeting Elliot in the hall.

"Alex and Jeremiah are waiting on yours." Elliot grabbed Olivia's waist and pulled her into a kiss. "And I just got mine." Olivia smiled and walked into Alex's room while Elliot went into Serena's.

E/O

Olivia was leaning against Elliot's chest when the phone rang. She reached over and grabbed it.

"Hello?"

"Liv?"

"Yeah. Fin?"

"I uh- I have some bad news." Olivia bolted into a sitting position as the fist in her stomach tightened.

"Did you find Lizzie?"

"Yeah. She's at Mercy General."

"We'll be there in five minutes."

"Listen. Do you know what she's trippin' on?"

"No. I've never seen these pills before." Olivia answered pressing her hand into her forehead.

"Bring 'em with you."

"Okay." Olivia hung up the phone and looked at Elliot. "Tell Dickie to watch the kids we're going to the hospital."

E/O

"Fin! Where is she?"

"Calm down Elliot she's in room 353. They had to pump her stomach."

"Oh my God." Olivia felt lightheaded. "I let her go out...I couldn't stop her." Olivia wrapped her arms around her stomach before she let the darkness take over.

E/O

Olivia awoke in a stark white room lit only by one lamp on the table across the room. Fin was sitting in the chair beside her bed.

"What the hell happened?"

"Baby Girl, whens the last time you ate?" Olivia pressed a hand into her forehead and groaned.

"Uhh...I made the kids breakfast, ate some toast, made them a snack, but also hemmed Kathleen's dress, made dinner but got pulled away by a hysterical Casey, I'm guessing they ate while I was gone. had that God awful fight...so yeah..this morning." Fin shook his head. "Oh God. What was Lizzie on?"

"She had a small amount of cocain in her, GHB, and Ex along with some alcohol. I'm surprised she's still breathing with all the crap they got out of her to be honest. The pills you found were speed mixed with PMA."

"What the hell is PMA?"

"The clinical name is paramethoxyamphetamine, so I'm sure you can guess whats in it. It's street name is Death. It causes things like fast heart rate, major mood swings, paranoia.. But only big time dealers can get stuff this pure."

"Fin you got a narc buddy who needs a big ass bust?"

"I got one guy who needs one more to get the shield."

"Good 'cuz I've got one for him." Olivia laid her head back on the pillow.

E/O

2 1/2 months later

Lizzie passed Olivia in the hall keeping her eyes on a invisible spot on the wall. Olivia wrapped her arms around Elliot as he came out of their room.

"She still not talking to you?" He said nodding towards his daughter.

"Mmmm...no. But I did help send her boyfriend up for 10-15."

"I'm just scared she's going to relapse."

"I know hun, so am I. The people at the rehab clinic told us that would be a great possibility though." Elliot just nodded.

"Mommy." Olivia groaned.

"Yes?"

"I needs you!"

"Alright." Olivia dragged her feet towards Isabelle's room. Olivia walked in and gasped. Isabelle was standing there with a jumbo sharpie in her hand. Black covered her hands and arms up to her elbows. Black was all over the light yellow of her wall also. "Baby...what...what did you do?"

"I made you a pweety piture!"

"I can see that!"

"Dee. Dere's me and you and daddy. Aww howdin' hands!" Olivia looked at the square-rectangle figures with something resembling circles onto of the "bodies."

"Now I've got to go find something to take it off." Olivia smiled.

"Yous ewasing it?"

"No I'm going to clean you up. C'mon Picasso. Elliot I need you to do me a favor baby!"

E/O

Olivia looked down at her daughter as she wrapped her in a towel. Isabelle's arms had a pink hue to them from where Olivia had scrubbed her for thirty minutes to get the permanent marker off.

"Mommy I loveded you." Izzy wrapped her arms around Liv's legs.

"I love you to honey."

"Why is Liddy mad at evdryone?"

"She's not just me and daddy."

"Why?"

"Cuz we made her mad."

"Why?"

"How about we get you dressed."

"You're avoid in'"

"And you're spending to much time with Uncle Munch."

"Unca' Munch!! Tan we dee him?"

"No. It's to late."

"Tan I tall him?"

"If you go get dressed."

"Tay!" Izzie ran out of the bathroom to get dressed.

"Mommy duess what?"

"I hope you didn't make me a pretty picture to Alex." Olivia said to herself as she turned around. "Hmm?" Alex crinckled her nose and smiled.

"I duuuuuuuuv you."

"I love you to sugar." Alex ran off. Serena came by the door next.

"I wuv you mommys."

"I..love..you to pumpkin. Whats going on?" Serena shrugged and ran off and Jeremiah came to the door.

"I loves woo!" And he ran off. Olivia took a step towards the door when Elliot appeared.

"I love you." Elliot brought a box out of his pocket and handed it to Olivia. She opened the box and found two diamond studs and a diamond teardrop necklace.

"What's this for?"

"Because I love you." Elliot smiled. He was inches from her lips when...

"MOMMY!" It was Elliot's turn to groan as he put his forehead against Olivia's. She tipped her head up and kissed him before she walked by him.

"What now Isabelle? If you put sharpie on the wail again I swear to God." Olivia mumbled to herself. Olivia leaned over the railing to look at her daughter on the first floor. "What dear?"

"Tall Unca Munch now?" Izzy pushed the phone towards the ceiling.

"Honey what if he's busy?" Elliot walked up behind his wife and bent over her and whispered in her ear.

"Doing what? We know he's not doing what I was trying to do." Eliot ground his hips into Olivia's backside and she could feel him through her running shorts and his jeans. She slapped at Elliot's hands that were slowly inching up her shirt.

"Sweetie you know the number is on the fridge. Thank you for asking though." She yelled at her retreating daughter. Elliot picked Olivia up carrying her into the bathroom.

"I need a shower." Elliot smiled.

"Then take one." Olivia smiled back as he placed her on the counter. Elliot slide Olivia's shirt off after placing the velvet box on the counter. Olivia pulled Elliot's shirt over his head. He cupped her breast through the fabric fondling her nipples. "Mmmm I thought you said you needed a shower." Elliot reached behind Olivia and expertly unsnapped her bra, Olivia let it fall away. He reached down and slowly pulled her shorts down her hips. Olivia fell back against the mirror and lifted up so he could pull them all the way off. "Elliot. The kids." Olivia unbuttoned his jeans.

"Dickie's in there with them." He mumbled around the skin of her stomach. Elliot stood up and walked over to the shower.

"Uhh Elliot." Olivia whined as she slowly trailed her hands up her thighs as Elliot turned the water on.

"Oh now that's not fair." Elliot pulled Olivia off the counter and removed the rest of his clothes climbing into the shower, with Olivia following. Before she had time to react Elliot pressed the front of Olivia's body into the shower wall. His right hand slid down towards her center as his left moved up to cup her breast. As his fingers slide through her folds she pressed her palms into the tile letting the water move over her. Elliot dipped two fingers into her going a little deeper each time his thumb stroking her clit. Olivia clinched her teeth to keep from crying out. She started to move her hips to speed up the process but Elliot stilled them. Soon her breathing became erratic and her legs were turning to jello.

"Fuck El." Elliot hooked his fingers around inside her.

"Cum on Liv, baby you know you want to." Olivia would have laughed had he not bit down on her ear. Olivia about exploded when someone knocked on the door making Elliot stop his movements. They heard the door hit the wall from the person slinging the door open making them both jump.

"Daddy whered Mommy go?"

"Alex I'm right here." Elliot's fingers started moving again at a faster pace. Olivia knew it would only be a few moments before she came so she placed her hand over his trying to make him stop but that only caused his fingers to slide deeper into her.

"Whered daddy den?"

"I'm right here." Alex gasped.

"Me take baf to?"

"No." They both yelled.

"Mommy are you tommin'?" Elliot smiled and slid his fingers as deep as he could and hooked them around again, shattering Olivia. She bit the back of her hand so hard she thought she might bleed. Olivia collapsed against Elliot's chest. "Mommy."

"Alex she'll be there in a minute." Alex ran out of the room.

"She left the door open." Elliot laughed.

"Mhmm."

"Again?"

"MHM."

"Quiet?"

"Mhm"

"Mmmk"

E/O

Olivia reached out of the curtain for a white king size towel wrapping it around herself twice before stepping out of the bathtub. A rush of cold air hit her as she stepped into the hallway. She reached the first level and found Dickie sitting on the couch with the youngest children watching Shrek the Third. Lizzie was nowhere to be found and a little part of Olivia was thankful. She made her way into the kitchen.

E/O

Dickie tried to act like he didn't even notice Liv. She was walking around in a towel. Just a fucking towel. Stark white to so that it contrasted with her golden skin perfectly. Her hair was sticking to her arms and face. His girlfriend sort of resembled Olivia. She had big brown eyes and brown hair but unlike Olivia's natural sun kissed skin, Leslie's came from a fake bake bed. And where Olivia's hair was long and wavy cascading to the middle of her back, Leslies was straight as a board and ended right past her shoulders. Dickie was so lost in his own thoughts he didn't notice his twin walking in until she walked in front of him. His younger brothers and sisters had ran off somewhere. Probably to the play room. Lizzie opened the front door.

"Liz what are you doing? You know dad said you can't go out for a month."

"Yeah well he's up there with his fuck buddy and as far as they know I'm in my room."

"Where are you going?"

"What does it matter?" Lizzie closed the door and Dickie saw Olivia standing behind it with her arms crossed and she was looking at floor her hair falling around her making a curtain. For a second Dickie thought she was crying. Then he was sure of it.

E/O

2:49 a.m.

Olivia was still sitting on the couch in the exact position she was in two hours ago, when Elliot left her to go look for Liz. The house phone was clenched in her right hand, her cell beside her, and a beer in her left hand. Elliot went over and pulled the beer from her. It was full and warm.

"Liv we put out a Be On the Look Out for her. C-" The phone rang cutting Elliot off. Olivia looked down and recognized the number. She hit the talk button.

"Where is my daughter?"

E/O

The End. I hope you enjoyed the story as much as I enjoyed writing it! Tell me what you thought and I don't know when my next story will be up. I guess whenever I decide I'm going to write the first chapter lol. It will pick up right where this one left off...I think...

So yep. Thank you all for staying with the story!


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